|Locations||Anywhere, after killing the Mob Penguin hitman as a Turtle Tamer.|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
You hear a *snap* and feel a slight tug at your ankle. Looking down, you appear to have stepped in a very small hunting snare.
"Ah-ha! I've caught you now, do-gooder!"
You look back up to find a hunter dressed in patchwork armor made of hides and turtle shells, gloating at you with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. Wordlessly, you look back down, and jerk your leg to the side a bit, snapping the thin cord. The hunter's smirk falters.
"Oh. Right. I should've scaled up a bit, huh?"
"A bit, yeah. So you're one of Stella's goons, I expect?"
"That's right." He grins again, pulling out a large club. "Hope you're ready to sleep with your little turtle friends, nancy-pants."
He throws a mousetrap at you, which snaps shut on your <neck>. Eek! Ooh!
He throws a turtle hide over your head. It smells pretty nasty. Ow! Ouch! (stench damage)
He throws a turtle snare at you. You get your feet tangled up in it and fall over. Eek! Ow!
He knees you in a sensitive area with his turtleshell kneepads. If only you had thought to train a turtle to act as a codpiece. Argh! Ugh!
The hunter beats a tattoo on your <throat>. It's not 1:40 yet, but it still makes a rat-a-tat-tat noise. Ugh! Argh!
He throws a ferocious wild turtle at you. It's like the tame turtles you're used to, except for the whole "clinging tenaciously to your nose" thing. Ouch! Argh!
The hunter throws a net over you and thumps you with his club a couple times while you extricate yourself. Jerk. ...Wow, reading back over that, it sounds really dirty, doesn't it? (CRITICAL HIT!) Ugh! Ugh!
He throws a turtle shell at you, but you stomp on it and send it careening back at him.
The hunter throws a very small lasso at you. It proves to be ineffective.
He thumps you with his club, but fortunately your skull is a bit harder than the standard turtle shells he's used to.
The hunter takes a swing at you, but you dodge. Slowly and steadily, but nonetheless effectively.
He tries to knock you down and hog-tie (well, turtle-tie) you, but you move faster than his usual prey.
You pause for a second. "...Nancy-pants?" The hunter shrugs. "I mostly hunt turtles. I don't get to practice my witty repartee much." (FUMBLE!)
- Occurs at any adventure.php location, and will only occur as a Turtle Tamer after defeating the Mob Penguin hitman and reaching at least 75 Muscle during the Me and My Nemesis quest.
- This monster may be encountered while falling-down drunk.
- After this enemy is encountered and defeated, the following text appears under Guild Quests:
- Me and My Nemesis
- Bam! So much for your Nemesis' assassins! If that's the best they've got, you have nothing at all to worry about.
- You sure hope that's the best they've got.
- Or, if you encountered this enemy and fled or got beaten up:
- Me and My Nemesis
- Your suspicious have been confirmed: your Nemesis has put the order out for you to be hunted down and killed, and now they're sending their own guys instead of contracting out. Good luck!
- The "nancy-pants" fumble message refers to the classic Koopa stomp move of Super Mario Bros..
- The "beats a tattoo" combat message refers to the tongue-twister "What a to do to die today."