Troll Twins
| Troll Twins | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1244 |
| Locations | Twin Peak |
| Hit Points | 98 |
| Attack | 94 |
| Defense | 82 |
| No-Hit | 101 |
| Initiative | 40 |
| Meat | 60-90 |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, hair, arm, leg, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting the Troll TwinsIn one of the endless dead ends in the hedge maze, you encounter a set of squat, orange-skinned twins with oversized eyes and enormous cheeks. "Hey, do you have any ows cream?" one of them asks, then laughs hysterically, joined by the disembodied laughter of an audience you can't see.
"What? How is that funny at all? You just mispronounced ice cream."
"Well, if that's not your cup of tea," the other twin says, "we'll be 18 years old in just 14 years, 11 days, 3 hours, and 31 seconds. So hubba-hubba."
"Cut. It. Out," you say, at which point they start trying to bite you in the kneecap.
Hit Message(s):
The twins each choose a kneecap and commence to pummelin'. Ouch! Oof!
They babble to each other in their own secret twin language. It's unbelievably creepy. Ouch! Argh! (spooky damage)
One twin kicks you in the shin while the other one stomps on your foot. Ow! Oof!
They sing a song about pizza, but really slowly and in unnaturally deep voices. It makes the hairs on your neck stand on end. Eek! Oof! ((spooky damage))
The twins call in their uncle the drummer to play the ten-minute drum solo from Innagaddadavida, using your <shins> as the drum. Eek! Ooh!
The twins argue about which one gets to pummel which kneecap.
They babble to each other in their secret twin language. It's actually kind of cute.
One twin steps forward to kick you while the other one is trying to run behind you, and they trip each other.
They sing a song about pizza. Mildly amusing, but not painful.
Union regulations and child labor laws require the twins to take a break every few rounds, to rest and do homework. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 60-90 Meat. (average: 75, stdev: 6.52)* |
 | You acquire an item: incredible pizza (6.3% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: troll britches (5.3% chance)* |
| You gain ? <substat>. |
Notes
- This monster counts as a group (of size two). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.
References
- The Olsen Twins are celebrities famous before they could walk. They were among the first children to have websites counting down until they reached the age of consent.
- "Cut. It. Out." was the catch phrase of Uncle Joey in Full House, the tv show the launched the Olsen Twins' careers.
- The hit message about pizza refers to this Olsen Twins video. *shiver*
