Totally trashed orquette

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Totally trashed orquette
Monster ID 959
Locations Kegger in the Woods
Hit Points 90
Attack 48
Defense 54
No-Hit 58
Initiative 20
Meat 16-24
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
plastic cup of beer
Quest orquette's phone number
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
totally trashed orquette You're fighting a totally trashed orquette

This orquette has had a few too many, and even one would have probably been enough. She's staggering around, alternately starting fights and hugging people, pausing only to vomit profusely. You try and stay out of her way, but she ends up tripping and grabbing you to keep from falling. Of course, now she's mad at you for getting in her way.

Hit Message(s):

She vomits a day-glow rainbow onto your leg. Acidic! Oof! Ow!

She stumbles toward you and steps on your toes. You're not sure if she meant to do it, but it hurts either way. Oof! Eek!

She gives you a big hug. One of the orcish juvenile delinquents shouts "hey, get your hands off my girlfriend!" and punches you. Argh! Ooh!

She hugs you and breathes puke-breath into your face. Oof! Ow! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

She tries to do a kegstand and falls over, kicking you in the head a couple of times as she lands. Eek! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

She goes off to wait in the keg line again.

She sits down and sings a little drunken ditty.

She starts to blow chunks, so you step back until she's done.

She starts to hug you, but passes out for a minute.

Fumble Message:

She complains she's sobering up, and goes off to do a couple of kegstands. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Plasticcup.gifYou acquire an item: plastic cup of beer

Using a plastic cup of beer:

Plasticcup.gif
You try to calm down the raging orquette by handing her a cup of beer.

"Thanks," she says, in a surprisingly deep voice. "My name's Alexis. Call me sometime, okay?"

She writes her number on a slip of paper and stuffs it in your pocket.

Phonenumber.gifYou acquire an item: orquette's phone number

You wander off to a different part of the party.
Meat.gifYou gain 16-24 Meat (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
You gain 12 <substat>.

Occurs at Kegger in the Woods.

References

  • The orquette's name is a reference to the Arquette sisters, specifically Alexis Arquette. Alexis is transgender, thus the "surprisingly deep voice."