Toothy sklelton

Toothy sklelton
Monster ID	186
Locations	The Defiled Nook, The VERY Unquiet Garves
Hit Points	50
Attack	57
Defense	52
No-Hit	67
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops bone flute, skeleton bone, loose teeth, loose teeth
Quest	evil eye
Accordion	bone bandoneon
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a toothy sklelton

This is a sklelton that has a lot more teeth than most other skleltons. Even the ones who practiced good dental hygiene before they became skleltons.

Hit Message(s):

It jumps up and bites you real quick, like that one movie where the shark bites Samuel L. Jackson. That was awesome. Ouch! Ugh! (spooky damage)

It gnashes its teeth at you. And by 'at,' I mean 'through.' And by 'you', I mean 'your <giblets>.' Ow! Ow! (spooky damage)

It impales you with eight canines and six bicuspids. What time is it? Tooth hurty. Ooh! Oof! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It simultaneously bites your <shoulder> and your <bung>. Man, this thing has more teeth than the genetically engineered child of a game-show host and a pageant queen. Eek! Oof! Ow! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to bite you, but can't decide which row of teeth to use.

It gnashes its teeth at you. Gnasty, but hargmless.

It tries to impale you with all eight of its canines, but gets confused about where that third row of teeth is anchored.

Fumble Message:

It unhinges its jaw to bite as much of you as possible. It quickly learns, of course, that flesh, muscle, and sinew are necessary for animals that unhinge their jaws, otherwise the unhinged jaw just drops to the floor. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: bone flute (10% chance)*

You acquire an item: loose teeth (20% chance)*

You acquire an item: loose teeth (20% chance)*

You acquire an item: skeleton bone (20% chance)*

You acquire an item: evil eye (20% chance)*

You gain 11-12 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Defiled Nook and The VERY Unquiet Garves.

Notes

• If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:

  Among the skeleton's meager and dusty belongings, you notice a meager and dusty accordion.

• If you then cast Steal Accordion:

  You grab a nearby bone and throw it at the skeleton's feet. Thinking he lost a part of himself, he scrambles around trying to figure out how to put it back in. Chuckling, you grab his accordion.

  You acquire an item: bone bandoneon

References

• The Samuel L. Jackson movie referred to here is the 1999 Renny Harlin film Deep Blue Sea.
• The same hit message also references a series of skits from Saturday Night Live called "The Chris Farley Show", in which Chris Farley would (in a state of high anxiety) interview famous people. Many of the questions would be little more than reminding the person of scenes from movies they had done, followed by the statement "That was awesome."
• The third attack message refers the joke:

What time is your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurty (Two Thirty).