Toothsome Rock

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Familiar number: 63
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Toothsome Rock

A passive pebble with one big tooth stuck on it really, what's the point?

Sits there looking mean

Ability: Sits motionless, does nothing

Throne/Bjorn: So-So Resistance to All Elements, sometimes deals for 20-50 damage

Hatchling: toothsome rock

	Ultimate Cage Match	Scavenger Hunt	Obstacle Course	Hide and Seek

Cannot breathe underwater

Combat Messages

Regular message:
(No message.)
Enthroned in the Crown of Thrones:
<Name> falls out of the hat and lands on your opponent's toe for 20-50 damage.
Bjornified in the Buddy Bjorn:
Your opponent suddenly grabs <his> foot and howls in pain, having apparently stepped on <name>. How'd it get over there?^{[sic]^?}
With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:
(No message.)
With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:
(No message.)
With wax lips equipped:
(No message.)
With pet rock "Groucho" disguise equipped, after fumbling:
Your pet rock's fake eyebrows waggle at you sarcastically. You'd horse-whip him, if you had a horse.
With pet rock "Snooty" disguise equipped:
(No message.)

Arena Messages

When attempting to have this familiar battle in the Arena, Susie gives the message: "Since the Arena doesn't have a 'sitting motionless, doing absolutely nothing' event, there's probably no point in allowing your Toothsome Rock to compete." (Although the thought occurs it would probably be pretty good at hide and seek... the hiding part, at least.)
The Toothsome Rock does nothing at all, similar to a real pet rock, but it can at the very least contribute to a few trophies that require familiar weight.
Before May 1, 2012, the Toothsome Rock was sometimes a familiar of choice for PvPers as its +11 equipment was advantageous in the "Familiar Kills" minigame.
While it doesn't say anything special for the wax lips, miniature gravy-covered maypole, or lucky Tam O'Shanter it still gives the effects of each item. In other words if you equip a Toothsome Rock with wax lips you have the equivalent of a 9 lb. volleyball.
Unlike most familiars, the Toothsome Rock has two pieces of familiar-specific equipment.
This is functionally identical to the original Pet Rock, although it has a large useless tooth like most cartoon depictions of prehistoric creatures.
Note that "toothsome" means "tasty" or "sexually attractive." "Toothy" means "having teeth." Mr Skullhead likes to conflate the two words.

The haiku is a well-used bad pun, that is used when something is useless and has a sharp point on it.
The line, "You'd horse-whip him, if you had a horse." refers to a quote from Professor Wagstaff (played by Groucho Marx) in Horse Feathers (1932), "Why, I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse!"