Tin can conspirator

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Tin can conspirator
Monster ID 1282
Locations The Gourd!
Hit Points 25
Attack 18
Defense 22
No-Hit 28
Initiative 50
Meat 8-12
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, leg, label, lid
razor-sharp can lid, razor-sharp can lid, sharp tin strip
Manuel censored can label
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
tin can conspirator You're fighting a tin can conspirator

This tin can is much like the ones you may have fought in the Haunted Pantry, except its label is plain white -- apart from where its contents would be printed, which reads: REDACTED.

It's making a beeline straight for the Gourd, so you step forward to block its path.

It can't actually speak or make an angry facial expression or do anything else that would communicate its emotional state, other than attack you -- which it does, so you get the impression that it's displeased.

Hit Message(s):

The can runs forward and stops in just the right place for you to stub your toe on it. Ooh! Ow!

The can runs up and kicks you, in Soviet Russia. Wait, sorry, I meant "the <arse>%". Oof! Ouch!

The can bludgeons you in the <kidney> with itself. Ouch! Ooh!

The can jumps up and down on your head, effectively bludgeoning you. Ouch! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

You ask it if it's a "tin canspirator", and it enjoys the pun so much, it beats the living hell out of you. Ouch! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

The can runs forward and attempts to trip you, but you step over it easily.

The can tries to attack you, but you aren't impressed. Pfft, it doesn't even have a knife.

The can throws itself at you in an attempt to hit you in the thigh, but misses and rolls a short distance away.

You accuse the can of being full of gross things like dead bugs and farts, until it becomes so frustrated it just hops up and down angrily, unable to mount a serious attack.

Fumble Message:

You take a moment to ponder the can's censored label, wondering out loud if the can knows what it contains, and if not, how does it feel about that? The can seems a bit disturbed by the implications. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 8-12 Meat (average: 10, stdev: 1.15)*
Canlid.gifYou acquire an item: razor-sharp can lid (??% chance)*
Canlid.gifYou acquire an item: razor-sharp can lid (??% chance)*
Tinstrip.gifYou acquire an item: sharp tin strip (??% chance)*

Occurs at The Gourd!.