The ghost of Phil Bunion
| The ghost of Phil Bunion | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1352 |
| Locations | The Corpse Bog |
| Hit Points | 60 |
| Attack | 72 |
| Defense | 68 |
| Initiative | 40 |
| Meat | 24-36 |
| Phylum | undead |
| Elements | spooky |
| Resistance | 50% |
| Monster Parts | arm,head,leg,torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting the ghost of Phil BunionOff in a corner of the bog (though bogs don't really have corners), you find an old and gnarled tree with a lumber axe chonked into the side of it. Beneath the axe rests an ancient skeleton dressed in flannel rags, who had evidently stopped to sit and rest his feet when whatever killed him did the job. Next to the skeleton, you find the remains of his boots -- most of the leather has rotted away, but enough remains to show that they appear to be about two sizes too small for the lumberjack's misshapen feet. Which indicates to you that not only are these the remains of Phil Bunion, but also that his surname was either actually a nickname, or else was weirdly prophetic.
The axe head has a coating of rust on it, but it should be possible to clean it up. Hopefully, being stuck in the side of a tree protected the blade from the weather over the years.
As you reach for the axe handle to wrench it out of the tree, an ear-splitting wail causes you to jump back. A spectral blue image like a jittery, hazy hologram of a lumberjack leaps out of the skeleton, and grabs a similarly hazy blue axe from the trunk of the tree.
Why can't anything ever be easy?
Hit Message(s):
The ghost swings his axe through you. It doesn't hurt, but it leaves some kind of awful ghost ectoplasm all over your foot. Euurrrgh! Ooh! (spooky damage)
The ghost's axe hits you right in the <groin>. Or in your <lower back>'s soul, I guess? Ouch! (spooky damage)
The ghost chops at a nearby tree for a bit. It doesn't seem like anything is happening, until the tree's ghost falls over on your head. Timber! Ooh! (spooky damage)
The ghost's axe phases through your skin and hits you directly in the guts. Ooh! (spooky damage)
The ghostly lumberjack hits you with his axe. I guess he wanted to axe you a question! Ha ha ha! No seriously, he actually just wants to kill you. Oof! Argh! Argh! (spooky damage)
The ghost takes his ethereal frustrations out on a nearby tree for a moment. Which is good, because that's fewer for him to take out on you.
The ghost swings his axe right through you. With an annoyed sigh, he furrows his brow in concentration for his next attack. I guess being intangible isn't all its cracked up to be.
The ghost seems to lose concentration for a moment, and his axe whiffs right through you.
The ghost's axe phases right through you. It feels pretty weird, but doesn't seem to have done any particular damage.
The ghost wails spookily for a moment. You don't catch all the words, but the gist of it seems to be about how much he hates trees. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)* |
 | You acquire an item: spectral axe |
 | You acquire an item: Phil Bunion's axe |
Occurs at The Corpse Bog
References
- Paul Bunyan is a "tall tale" mythical lumberjack in US and Canadian folklore.
- Bunions are a foot deformity often attributed to tight shoes.
- The "two sizes too small" line references the description of the heart of the Grinch.
