The ghost of Jim Unfortunato
|The ghost of Jim Unfortunato|
|Locations||The Haunted Wine Cellar|
|Monster Parts||arm, head|
The brickwork at one end of the Wine Cellar looks a little different from the rest. Like perhaps it was installed more recently? I mean, still ages and ages ago, but more recently than the rest of it.
As you're poking at the bricks, wondering if there's a secret door, a ghostly arm sweeps through the wall and tries to claw at you. You jump back, and the arm is followed by a ghostly face, poking through the surface of the brickwork and moaning at you.
"Lies!" he moans. "Lies! Betrayal! Damnation!"
"What's your deal?" you ask.
"That damnable puckerloin Spookyraven walled me up in this cellar and left me to die! And now I will have my revenge on whosoever approaches!"
"You're a ghost. Can't you just walk through the wall? You don't seem to be having any trouble getting your face and arms through."
"Don't you suppose I'd have done so were I able, you feckless popinjay?"
"Hey now! There's no need to get obscene!"
"You pinsplitting, varleybacked, smearcupped troncer!" he shouts. Gah! What does that even mean?? Ow! Ugh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)"You're a spit-thimbled harleytrod!" he shouts at you.
"What does that mean?" you wail.
"It means you're a walloping great burlingham!"
"Aagh!"Ooh! Oof! Ow! (sleaze damage)
"Whingeing slicewhistle!" the ghost shouts at you. "Feculent nonnypate! Come closer that I might throttle you, miserable pushtiddle!" You reel from the foulness of his incomprehensible insults. Ooh! Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
The ghost shouts a litany of insults at you so vile, depraved, and obscene that you're sure your ears would have caught fire if you had any idea what any of them meant. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ouch! Ugh! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
"A jerk? That's it?"
"Look, they can't all be winners."
He ducks back inside the wall for a moment to check his thesaurus.
He shouts some more incomprehensible obscentities at you, but you have your hands over your ears.
The ghost pauses for a moment, trying to think of some more insults. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire 3-5 psychokinetic energy blobs (100% chance)*|
Only if killed with Trap Ghost:
|You acquire an item: Unfortunato's foolscap (100% chance)*|
|You gain ? <substat>.|
Occurs at The Haunted Wine Cellar, after being informed about paranormal activity.