The Valhalladay Inn

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The Valhalliday Inn


You move into the Valhalliday Inn and set about having an afterlife of afterleisure. After a few days, though, you realize that Valhallalala is a place where nothing ever happens. Not to put too fine a point on it (or a bee in your bonnet), you're getting bored.

Fortunately, the Valhalliday Inn has the KNN channel. One day (or, really, one particular point in eternity) you see the following news story:

"The Naughty Sorceress has returned to the Kingdom and is once again making trouble. King Ralph has vanished once again and the Council of Loathing has reconvened. In fact, it's a lot like the Naughty Sorceress had never been defeated!"

"How do I get out of here? I'm needed back in the Kingdom," you ask the ethereal concierge.

"Well," the shade replies, "You can always go see After-After-Life Al. He's just past that big stairway over there. There's a sign on the door."

You follow the shade's directions and find yourself living in a shotgun shack in another part of the world. Actually, you find yourself in front of a little store with a giant neon sign reading:

After-After-Life Al's: The Alpha and Alphmega in Reincarnation Services.

Back to Beyond the Pale.

Notes

References

  • "Valhalladay Inn" is a combination of the Norse mythological Valhalla with the hotel chain Holiday Inn.
  • The first paragraph refers to a lyric from the song Heaven by Talking Heads: "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens."
  • The first paragraph alludes to a lyric from the 1990 song Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants: "Not to put too fine a point on it / Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet."
  • KNN most likely stands for Kingdom News Network, a reference to similarly-abbreviated news networks across the world.
  • The "big stairway" is likely another reference to Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, although the lyrics to that song are "sign on the wall".
  • The last paragraph refers to a lyric from the 1980 song Once in a Lifetime by The Talking Heads: "And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack / And you may find yourself living in another part of the world."
  • "After-After-Life Al's: The Alpha and Alphmega in Reincarnation Services" is a reference to one of the names God is called in the Christian Bible: "The Alpha and the Omega" ("The First and the Last").