The Tale of the Mysterious Diminishing Returns

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The Tale of the Mysterious Diminishing Returns
The Tale of the Mysterious Diminishing Returns

You grab a roasting stick and mercilessly skewer your marshmallow. As you roast, you listen to a spine-curdling, blood-tingling tale from Roger Kenny, the Roastmaster:

"Once upon a time," Roger says, holding a flashlight under his chin for maximum spoooky effect, "there was an evil leprechaun, who killed people when they tried to steal his gold."

"I've heard that one before," another roaster says, yawning.

"Oh. Well, this one's different. The evil leprechaun was defeated and vanquished, but he came back to kill more people and take a bride!"

"This is still sounding really familiar."

"Okay, well, the leprechaun came back, only on board a space station, and a space witch summoned him to kill astronauts, and space marines had to take him down! No? Okay, the leprechaun came to a neighborhood full of nothing but black stereotypes, and killed people, and even rapped! Then he did it again!"

"You've totally lost me."

"Okay. Once upon a time, there was a spoooky story that a lot of people enjoyed, because it was a little spooky but a little funny, too. But the people wanted new stories, and so the storyteller told the same spoooky story over and over, and it became far more funny than spooky, and then it wasn't even funny anymore. And the storyteller died and became a vengeful ghost who haunted the marshmallow roasters until they all slit their own wrists!"

You feel a little shiver run up and down your spine as you think about an evil storytelling ghost.

HPYou lose X hit points. (spooky damage)
MPYou gain Y Mana Points.
Roastmallow.gifYou acquire an item: roasted marshmallow

Occurs at A Yuletide Bonfire (if you have a marshmallow).



  • This tale makes references to the 1992 horror movie Leprechaun and its progressively more and more absurd sequels.