The Story So Far

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search
The Story So Far
The Story So Far

Your vision is temporarily obscured by cascading ribbons of light in double-helix formations as your head fills with the memories of previous glories not your own, and yet as familiar to you as yesterday. Your hands flex involuntarily, and you experience a curious doubling of sensation -- for although the weapon you grip is your trusty <currently equipped weapon> as always, you also feel the leather-wrapped hilt of a longsword, notched and worn from countless battles. It is a trustworthy blade, of masterful craftsmanship, but one that is invariably destined to be lost or discarded in favor of a better one. This sword has no name, no magical powers, no legend or legacy but for its association with its wielder -- the mighty barbarian Krakrox, paragon and ancient forefather of adventurers.

Krakrox is known as a legend among legends, the only name remembered from the pre-prehistory of Loathing, a time so long past it was forgotten even by the ancient historians who have themselves been forgotten in the modern ages. It was the time of the first human settlement ever to land on the shores of the dark continent known only as Loathing, and this single warrior, this mighty barbarian, was all that stood between Seaside Village and the evils that lurked in the mighty jungles and ancient ruins of this land. It was a time that was, in short, a great deal more dramatic than you're used to.

The barbarian Krakrox protected Seaside Village and its inhabitants not out of a sense of duty or goodwill, but almost as an afterthought, a side-effect of his insatiable thirst for adventure and the exploration of the unknown. He had set forth from Distant Lands with the aim of conquering the unconquerable, of taming the untamable. If he must occasionally also protect the meek coastal village which was the only place he could get a beer when he was finished taming and conquering, well, it was a small but worthwhile hassle.

On this day, Krakrox -- that is to say, you -- journeyed south along the coast from Seaside Village, intent on exploring an ancient ruin that stood at the jungle's border, on a rocky outcropping at the edge of the ocean. It was all that remained of a long-vanished earlier civilization, of which the local Pork Elf tribes refused to speak, and that, to Krakrox, was a sure sign of adventure to be had.

On this day, Krakrox -- that is to say, you -- journeyed south along the coast from Seaside Village, intent on exploring an ancient ruin that stood at the jungle's border, on a rocky outcropping at the edge of the ocean. A strange and terrible plague had been afflicting the local Pork Elf tribes; the symptoms were observed to be prolonged and painful muscle spasms and fits of coughing, followed by the liquification of the victim's entire body into nothing more than a puddle of black slime. This was invariably fatal.

Seaside Village had not yet been affected by the disease, perhaps due to the Pork Elves' secretive ways and disinterest in trade or diplomacy, but it was surely only a matter of time. Rumor had it that an ancient ruin that stood at the jungle's border, on a rocky outcropping at the edge of the ocean, had recently been the site of activity of strange men in black hooded robes. The city was all that remained of a long-vanished earlier civilization, of which the Pork Elves refused to speak; it would make an excellent base of operations for any evil cult that might recently have formed, Krakrox reasoned. For cultists to appear in the jungle at the same time as the outbreak of the plague was surely no coincidence, and the barbarian resolved to find out what was going on, and to put a stop to it.


Occurs at The Jungles of Ancient Loathing

Notes

  • If you receive this adventure before creating the supervirus, and then create the supervirus, you will trigger Even More Story So Far to update the story.

References

  • The "cascading ribbons of light in double-helix formations" are a perfect description of the starting screen for Assassin's Creed.

See Also