The Sorceress' Tower/Old

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NS Spoilers Navigation
The Three Gates
The Perplexing Door
The Stone Mariachis
The Hedge Maze
The Tower Monsters
The Heavy and Light Doors
The Shadow
Defeating The Naughty Sorceress


The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)

The Sorceress' Tower contains a series of six randomly-selected enemies, each of which has enormously high stats but can be defeated with a specific combat item. The monsters are different for each player, and each ascension.

Due to their extremely high Monster Level, even a low-weight Hovering Sombrero will radically increase stat point gains from them. Specifically, the tower monsters give 40 substats when defeated, but a Sombrero uses their actual attack value of 99,999 to determine the bonus stats you receive from the familiar. With such high ML, even a 6-pound sombrero gives almost 78 bonus stats, and heavier ones give much more.

Resourceful players can sometimes kill the Tower monsters, but most players cannot. If you are faced with a Tower monster for which you don't have the necessary item or the resources to kill it, run away. Get the item by buying it in the mall, pulling it, or adventuring until it drops, then return to the Tower.

  • For Bees Hate You runs, all the monsters in the Tower will be giant bees. (This can be countered by obtaining a packet of orchid seeds.)
  • The first 5 tower monsters will be randomly chosen from the following chart:
Defeat: Using: Found in: Obtained From:
Beer Batter baseball Guano Junction baseball bat
Using a Ten-leaf clover with a Sonar-in-a-biscuit in inventory
best-selling novelist plot hole The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky (Ground Floor) Possibility Giant
Big Meat Golem meat vortex The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm me4t begZ0r
Bowling Cricket sonar-in-a-biscuit The Bat Hole various
Using a Ten-leaf clover without a Sonar-in-a-biscuit in inventory
Bronze Chef leftovers of indeterminate origin The Haunted Kitchen demonic icebox
Using a Ten-leaf clover
concert pianist Knob Goblin firecracker Outskirts of Cobb's Knob Sub-Assistant Knob Mad Scientist
the darkness inkwell The Haunted Library writing desk
El Diablo mariachi G-string South of The Border irate mariachi
Electron Submarine photoprotoneutron torpedo The Penultimate Fantasy Airship MagiMechTech MechaMech
endangered inflatable white tiger pygmy blowgun The Hidden Park pygmy blowgunner
fancy bath slug fancy bath salts The Haunted Bathroom claw-foot bathtub
Fickle Finger of F8 razor-sharp can lid The Haunted Pantry various
Flaming Samurai frigid ninja stars Lair of the Ninja Snowmen various
giant fried egg black pepper The Black Forest black picnic basket from a black widow
Zapping dehydrated caviar or ancient spice
Using a Ten-leaf clover
Giant Desktop Globe NG N/A Meat Pasting a lowercase N and an original G
Each letter can be zapped individually
Ice Cube hair spray N/A Purchase from the General Store for 24 meat.
malevolent crop circle bronzed locust The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert plaque of locusts
possessed pipe-organ powdered organs The Upper or Middle Chambers canopic jar (obtained from a tomb servant)
Pretty Fly spider web The Sleazy Back Alley either spider
Tyrannosaurus Tex chaos butterfly The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky (Ground Floor) Possibility Giant
Vicious Easel disease The "Fun" House disease-in-the-box
Cobb's Knob Harem Knob Goblin Harem Girl
Defeat: Using: Obtained from:
collapsed mineshaft golem stick of dynamite dude ranch souvenir crate
Enraged Cow barbed-wire fence ski resort souvenir crate
giant bee tropical orchid tropical island souvenir crate

The Sorceress' Chamber

Like the stairs, the adventures are randomized for each player. To an extent, that is. The events appear in the order below, but all people have different Codes and different Truth-Tellers. Note that you must be level 11 and have at least 70 of each stat in order to progress further than this point, else you will see only the following message:

You're not tough enough to fight up here. You need to be at least level 11, with at least 70 in all of your stats.

Of course you most likely will be level 13 or higher at this point, but the message about "level 11" is a holdover from before NS13. Regardless, this restriction rarely comes into play, except for those doing very fast normal or casual ascensions.

The Heavy and Light Doors

Click on the Light Door, and the four guards will be happy to give you the info you need to get the code. It's different every ascension, though, so it is useless to ask other players what the code is.

One guard is telling the truth, one is lying, another is alternating between lies and truth, and the last is craving human flesh. You have to use their answers to figure out who's telling the truth and who's lying, and what the code is. (The one who craves human flesh only says "Graaaaagh.")

The player Poochy says that the truth-teller is the only one who says "You're full of it." In fact, a simple truth-table analysis of this problem confirms this, and this insight offers the fastest route to solving the problem each time. Sometimes, however, none of the guards say "You're full of it."

If you want to solve it yourself, the best way to figure it out is to list what each of the guards says in a separate text window, or on a piece of paper. Deciphering the Door Code explains how to use logic to figure out the code.

Also, several online door code solvers have been created to solve the door riddle.

One of them (Cisco's) can be found here.

Once you have the code by whichever method, click on the Heavy Door and enter the code. If you're right, the door will open; if not, you'll lose 50 HP.

The Electrical Attack

Equip the huge mirror shard to deflect a burst of energy. If you don't have the shard equipped, you'll lose 50 HP. The shard must be your main weapon; it cannot be wielded in your offhand or third hand. This task does not consume an adventure. If you lose all HP from this, you will be Beaten Up for 4 adventures, instead of the usual 3.

On the Way of the Surprising Fist runs, you do not need a weapon. The normal text is replaced with the line:

You've never met a beam of energy you couldn't punch, and this one is no exception. You draw back your fist and punch the beam as hard as you can, which turns out to be exactly hard enough to reflect it back down the hallway. You hear a muffled curse and the sound of breaking stone.

On Avatar of Boris runs, nothing special needs to be done. The normal text is replaced with the line:

You laugh as the beam of energy harmlessly bounces off your powerful chest muscles and shoots back down the hallway. You hear a muffled curse and the sound of breaking stone.

Defeat your own Shadow

  1. Boost your Initiative. You may also want to boost your maximum HP (see HP Modifiers for skills and items that will boost your HP). This is not always necessary.
  2. Before going into battle, make sure that you are fully healed.

The Shadow starts out with 400 hp.

Note --- Healing yourself with skills or items is the only way to hurt this opponent. ---

The damage dealt by the shadow is 90-100 + (Max HP/6), rounded up.

Four red pixel potions are enough to win, although healing items from the level 11 and 12 areas that heal similar amounts of HP (such as gauze garters or filthy poultices) also work. Try to raise your hitpoints as high as possible with equipment and potions that boost muscle and health.

It is very difficult to defeat with very low hit points – at 126 hit points, it will take virtually all of your hit points away with each hit.

If you have the Disco Bandit skill Ambidextrous Funkslinging you can dual-use red pixel potions, gauze garters and filthy poultices recovering 160-240 HP per round.

The easiest way to defeat your shadow is to have a high max HP: go into the battle with low HP (ex: 200/600 HP) and use a scented massage oil to recover all HP.

An alternate way to defeat your shadow is to equip the navel ring of navel gazing; doing so will allow you to avoid most of your shadow's attacks and allowing you to use lower-level healing items to defeat it. This only works in softcore or casual ascensions since the ring is a Mr. Store item. The ancient stone head will block attacks and is available in hardcore (provided you have a Baby Sandworm)


On Avatar of Jarlsberg runs, you will fight the final boss's companion before the final boss:

Clancy This monster is a Dude -- (edit metadata)
  • Item Drops: None
  • Meat Drop: None
  • Monster Level: 150 • Substat Gain: 37.5 • Moxie for No Hit*: 160
  • Monster Defense: 165
  • Hit Points: 500
  • Initiative: 90
  • Elemental Alignment: None
  • Damage Resistance: 25%

Defeating The Naughty Sorceress

Quest information continues in Defeating The Naughty Sorceress.



  • Before a trivial update on November 7, 2014, players had to face the Naughty Sorceress' familiars before fighting the Sorceress herself. Two out of her five familiars had to be fought, which required a certain familiar with at least 20 pounds to be defeated. Certain Challenge Paths that restricted familiars were able to bypass this challenge or required alternate means. See here for more info on this section of the Quest.