The Santa Claus

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  • First visit:

You step up onto the deck of the Santa Claus and look around for the captain. It doesn't take long to find him, or at least the guy you assume is the captain due to how everyone defers to him, though his attire isn't very captain-y. He's wearing an old and out-of-fashion red suit underneath a shabby-looking gray raincoat, and a big white false beard, which he's tugged down out of place so that it doesn't interfere with his cigar. When he sees you, he waves hello and approaches. "Ah, hello there [sir]{ma'am}," he says, "I wonder if I could have just a moment of your time. Can you tell me if... oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners? I haven't even introduced myself." He grabs your hand and shakes it, seemingly oblivious to your slightly bemused expression. "I'm Lieutenant Columbus, and my crew and I are looking for the New World. I don't, ah, I don't suppose you've seen it anywhere, have you?"

"Uh, well, Lieutenant," you say, "I'm not really sure what you mean by that. These lands here certainly aren't new, though if you've come far away I can see how they would seem that way to you."

He nods thoughtfully. "Hmm, yes... yes [sir]{ma'am}, you make a very good point. This world we've discovered here isn't new, no. No, it isn't, is it?" He stares into the middle distance for a moment while puffing on his cigar, then suddenly remembers your presence. "Ah, well, I'll have to talk this over with my crew. Don't let me keep you, [sir][ma'am], I know your time is valuable."

As you turn to leave, Lieutenant Columbus suddenly snaps his fingers. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, [sir]{ma'am}, one more thing if you would. I've just remembered something very important. Just one more question -- this land here, this world... have you lived here your whole life?"

"Well, yes, Lieutenant. Yes I have."

"I see, I see. So you were here last Tuesday?"

"Last Tuesday?" you frown, puzzled. "Well, no actually, but I'm a time traveller, so it's a little complicated..."

"Of course," Columbus nods, then takes out a little notebook and jots something down in it with a pencil. "Time travel certainly is a complex subject, to be sure. Couldn't tell you a single thing about it myself, [sir]{ma'am}, I'm a complete layman when it comes to things like that. Well, that'll be all [sir]{ma'am}, thanks for your time."

As you leave the ship, the Lieutenant calls down to you from the deck. "Oh! Excuse me! [Sir]{Ma'am}! Just one more thing! Here, catch!"

He tosses you something, which you just barely manage to snag before it hits the water.

"Just to let you know that I'm keeping an eye out for you," he says with a wink.

Cglasseye.gifYou acquire an item: glass eye
  • Subsequent visits:

You already got your Christmas present. You'll just have to wait until 1493 like the rest of us.

Occurs at The Time-Twitching Tower.


  • The text actually said "[sir]{ma'am}" when this location first rolled out – which might or might not have been an oversight. There was even a place where it said "[sir]{ma'am]" ("Don't let me keep you, [sir]{ma'am], I know your time is valuable.")