The Rain King
|The Rain King|
|Locations||The Sorceress' Chamber|
|Monster Parts||body, leg, arm, head|
You step into the Sorceress's chamber. She's draped across her throne on the dais, playfully twirling her staff in one hand, looking as naughty as ever. "At last, your reign of terror shall end!" you shout, heroically. "The subjects of Loathing have asked, 'who'll stop the rain,' and that who is me!"
"Hey, I had nothing to do with the rain, okay?" she replies. "It's even raining when the sun's out. I mean, have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day? It's beyond even my power! And besides, my hair has been frizzy and unmanageable for months now! This rain's a total bummer!"
"OH YES, IT'S DEFINITELY A BUMMER. DEFINITELY," a voice booms from nowhere, loud as thunder, rattling the windows.
Who's there?" the Sorceress says. "Come up on the dais and I'll rock you like a--"
"HURRICANE?" the voice says, deafeningly loud. A waterspout descends from the clouds overhead, picking up the Sorceress and her throne before she can even protest. She whirls up into the sky, perhaps to land on some rainbow-obsessed ingenue in Kansas.
As you struggle to take in what you've just seen, it continues to rain buckets on the sorceress's tower, until you're standing in a knee-deep puddle. The waters begin to rise on the dais, flowing into the shape of a huge watery man wearing a crown.
"'ROUND HERE," he says, in his thunderous voice, "YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE. 'ROUND HERE, I RULE EARTH AND SKY! I HAVE CAUSED 127,337 INCHES OF RAIN TO FALL ON THE KINGDOM. 127,337, DEFINITELY. I AM THE RAIN KING!"
"Yeah?" you say, unimpressed. "Well I'm going to rein you in and end your raining reign! Why are you doing this, anyway? The world's gone all soggy and gray!"
"GRAY'S MY FAVORITE COLOR! I LIKE GRAY. DEFINITELY GRAY!" he shouts. "AND I NEED THE WATER. I AM THE WATER! EVERY BOSS YOU FOUGHT WAS A PIECE OF ME! WHEN THE WORLD IS COVERED IN WATER, I WILL BE EVERYWHERE AND EVERYTHING! I WILL BE FAITH, AND SEX, AND GOD, AND THE BELLY OF A BLACK-WINGED BIRD!"
"Well, I happen to think Loathing deserves a little more than that!" you shout, weapon at the ready. "It's time you dried up, Rain King!"
He throws a watery punch, his arm stretching impossibly long, doing his level best to stick his fist through you. Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Argh!
He points his scepter at the water in front of you. A dozen tendrils of water leap up, wrap around you, and squeeze. Ugh! Eek! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Ow! Argh!
He points his scepter into the clouds. Hailstones as big as golf balls bounce off the top of your head. Ouch! Eek! Oof! Eek! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Ow!
He points his scepter at you and a bolt of lightning erupts from it, shocking the crap out of your arm. Eek!
He waves his arms over his head. A massive CRACK of thunder makes you feel like you're a kid cowering under your blankets again. Eek! Oof! Ouch! Ow! Eek! Argh! (spooky damage)
He waves his watery scepter and lightning stabs from the clouds overhead, three bolts hitting you all at once, lighting you up like a Las Vegas jukebox. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ow! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Eek! Eek!
The Rain King slumps over, almost defeated. "No!" he shouts. "You can't beat me! I am the rain! I am the thunder! I am the lightning! I AM the Rain King!"
"Yeah, and I'm the weatherman," you say, "and the forecast calls for clear skies from here on out. It's time for you to dry up!" You throw one more punch at the King, and he dissolves into a puddle of water, without even complaining that he's melting, and what a world, and all that.
The clouds overhead start to dissipate, and the rain finally stops. "I guess it can't rain all the time," you say, and squelch your way over to King Ralph's prism.
|You acquire an item: beautiful rainbow (100% if Heavy Rains is still in season; otherwise, 0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Instant Karma (100% chance if player is at level 13; otherwise, 0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Thwaitgold spider statuette (100% chance)*|
Occurs at The Sorceress' Chamber.
- Replaces The Naughty Sorceress in the Heavy Rains path.
- Removes everything but your weapon and off-hand item on the first round:
- He snaps his watery fingers and a miniature tsunami washes over you, knocking off your clothes.
- He also removes one of your effects every combat round in which he acts:
- If the Rain King is stunned, he cannot act and therefore does not remove an effect.
- Damage dealt to the Rain King has a hard cap of 40 damage per source and round. However, multiple sources of damage are capped individually, allowing for higher damage to be dealt per round.
- The Rain King has a hidden water depth of 6, which means you are operating with an effective +60 Monster Level for this fight. Wearing a heavy duty umbrella does not change this. However, wearing water wings for babies does lower the effective ML, even after he removes them.
- Advice on how to beat this rather challenging boss can be found on the Heavy Rains Strategy page.
- There are numerous nods in the text to the band Counting Crows and their song "Rain King".
- The intro text references the Creedence Clearwater Revival songs "Who'll Stop the Rain" and "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
- The Rain King's penchant for counting, repetition and the word "definitely" are references to the character Raymond from the film Rain Man.
- The rainbow-obsessed ingenue in Kansas is Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. "Melting! melting! ...what a world" are the dying words of the Wicked Witch of the West from the 1939 film adaptation of this.