The Mariachi With No Name
| The Mariachi With No Name | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 706 |
| Locations | Anywhere, after defeating the mariachi bandolero |
| Hit Points | 150 |
| Attack | 115 |
| Defense | 103 |
| No-Hit | 125 |
| Initiative | 60 |
| Meat | 40-60 |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Quest | secret tropical island volcano lair map |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting The Mariachi With No NameSo, you're standing there, and up walks the biggest mariachi you've ever seen. Big as hell. Just walks right up like he owns the place. You don't know quite what to make of him... or quite what to think. There he is and up he walks. He's dark too. I don't mean dark-skinned, no, this is different. It's as if he's always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he takes toward the light, just when you think his face is about to be revealed... it isn't. It's as if the lights dim, just for him.
"When a man with a .45 meets a <sex> with a <weapon>," he says, chewing a short black cigar, "they say the man with the pistol's a dead man. Let's see if that's true." He puts down his guitar case and opens it, revealing an impressive assortment of weaponry. He selects a large revolver, and stands to face you again.
"The heart, <name>. Don't forget the heart. Aim for the heart, or you'll never stop me."
Hit Message(s):
He draws his gun, fires, and puts the gun back in the holster, all so fast you barely saw him move at all. Ouch! Ugh!
He fires a shot from his .45. It hits like a brimful of Asha. Ooh! Argh!
He puts his cigar out on your arm, leaving a scar about the size of a cigar. Eek! Ugh!
He leans in close to you, scratching your face with his sandpapery stubble. Gritty. Oof! Ugh!
He hits you with a fistful of meat. You'd pay him a few meat more to stop hitting you. Oof! Argh!
You punch him in the chest. You howl in pain as your fist clangs off of a metal stove door. Tricky bastard! Ugh! Oof!
He throws his gun down in front of you, and rasps, "pick up the gun. Pick it up. I want you to pick it up." When you reach for it, he slaps your hand really hard and says, "Simon didn't say." Oof! Argh!
He tries to do a quick draw, but forgot to unsnap the holster first.
He fires five or six shots from his .45, but they all miss. You feel pretty lucky.
He blows cigar smoke at you. You cough, but are otherwise unharmed.
He tries to hit you with a fistful of meat, but can't make a fist and hold the meat at the same time.
A tumbleweed tumbles by as a harmonica somewhere blows several high, lonesome notes. Nothing much happens for about a half hour.
He shoots you in the chest, but you had the foresight to hide a sheet of metal under your poncho. Um, just go with me on this.
He throws his gun in the dust between you and says, "pick it up. Pick up the gun." You tell him to pick up his own darn gun, since he's the one who threw it. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 40-60 Meat (average: 50, stdev: 4.47)* |
 | You acquire an item: secret tropical island volcano lair map |
 | You acquire an item: The Mariachi's guitar case |
 | You acquire an item: stray chihuahua |
Notes
- Appears to occur at any adventure.php location, and will only occur after you defeat your nemesis in the Dark and Dank Sinsister Cave.
- This monster may be encountered while falling-down drunk.
- Requires 90 mainstat to appear
- If you are unarmed, 'with a <weapon>' in his opening dialogue is replaced by 'with no weapon'.
References
- The character description of not being able to see the Mariachi's face; word for word; as well as the weaponized guitar case, is from Desperado.
- The "hits like a brimful of Asha" hit message refers to the band Cornershop's song Brimful of Asha.
- Lots of Clint Eastwood references here:
- Hitting you with "a fistful of meat", "When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle", "Aim for the heart" and "sheet of metal under your poncho" all reference A Fistful of Dollars, a film in which Eastwood played a character known as "The Man with No Name."
- The message about paying him "a few meat more" is a reference to the sequel to A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More.
- Firing "five or six shots from his .45, but they all miss" is from Dirty Harry, in which Eastwood dramatically holds a criminal at gunpoint while questioning the number of bullets left in his .44 magnum. "You feel pretty lucky" is from his question to the criminal - "'Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk?"
- The miss message about the harmonica and "nothing happening" is a reference to the opening sequence of the movie Once Upon A Time In The West.
