The Lavalier

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The Lavalier
Monster ID 1689
Locations A Crowd of Adventurers
Hit Points 0
Attack 0
Defense 0
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts unknown
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
The Lavalier You're fighting The Lavalier

You approach a tall, orange-armored fellow to ask if you're in the right place for the Hottest Adventurer contest. "Yes, good sir, but I warn you -- your chances against me are naught!" he says, puffing out his chest (you think -- it's hard to tell under the armor.)

"Oh yeah? And who are you?"

"I..." he booms, "am the Lavalier!"

"Like a microphone?" you ask.

"Why... no... I..." he sputters, "like... like a cavalier, but lava. Hold on. Here, maybe this will help."

He whistles, and a giant horse made of magma trots up.

"Oh, okay. I get it now." you say, as he mounts the horse and begins thundering toward you, molten lance aloft.

Hit Message(s):

He hops off his horse and chops off your <kidney> with his glowing hot sword. Argh! Ow! Argh! (hot damage)

He spikes your <face> with his red-hot lance. Argh! Eek! Ouch! (hot damage)

His horse stomps on your <solar plexus>, simultaneously causing and cauterizing a horseshoe-shaped wound. Eek! Ow! Ow! (hot damage)

He smacks you in the <nipple> with his heated-up heater shield. Oof! Eek! Ooh! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He spikes your <shins> with his red-hot lance. (CRITICAL HIT!) Argh! Ow! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He charges at you, but pauses briefly to bow to a passing damsel.

He charges at you with his red-hot lance, but you do a red-hot dance and get out of the way. (It's the Lambada.)

You distract his horse with a baked apple. You just happened to have one in your bag. I don't know why we didn't mention it at any point before this.

Fumble Message:

not known

After Combat

You gain ? <substat>.

Occurs at A Crowd of Adventurers (Hottest Adventurer contest) in The Naughty Sorceress' Tower.


  • This is the final Hottest Adventurer.