The Haiku Dungeon 4

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The Haiku Dungeon
The Haiku Dungeon

You notice a hidden corridor and duck down it.


You make your way further down the corridor.

While wandering through the haiku dungeon, you stumble into a small room with a couple of tables, some chairs, an EZ-Bake Oven, and some vending machines. Looks like you've found the Monster Break Room, where the monsters come to unwind in between disemboweling adventurers.

You see a samurai shaking one of the vending machines and cursing. He looks over at you.

"Guess which one I want.
Hit the button and get it.
Guess right and you live."

You look at the items in the vending machine. Looks like it sells everything from used leather-studded boxers to cellphones.

Push the button for ramen.

Oh tasty ramen
does not exist, but this stuff
pleases samurai.


"Fool, I hunger not!"
The samurai draws his sword:
proxy seppuku.

You have failed the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge

Get a tiny plastic zmobie.

Toys for Saumrai?
Do not toy with warriors.
Now you have one arm.

You have failed the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge

Buy the boxer shorts.

Fortified chones.
Samurai forgot his shorts,
you help gird his loins.


Angry samurai:
"I'm not into that weird stuff!"

You have failed the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge

Occurs at The Haiku Dungeon. (Does not occur after you have passed this stage of the Challenge).


  • Part of the Haiku Quest. If this is the first or third room you encounter, the correct response is the five-syllable "Buy the boxer shorts." If this is the second room, the correct response is the seven-syllable "Push the button for ramen." Either way, you move on, either to the next room or to successful completion of the quest.


  • Japan, whose culture lends the Haiku Dungeon its haikus and many of the Most Extreme Haiku Dungeon Challenge challenges, is famous for having vending machines with a wide variety of strange items.