The Croquet Grounds (Disco Bandit)

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The Croquet Grounds
The Croquet Grounds

You follow the map past the Coffee Grounds, past the Grounds for Dismissal, and finally find yourself on the Croquet Grounds. You join a line of surreal and off-putting anthropomorphic animals waiting for their flamingos and hedgehogs.

As you wait in line, you notice that your foot is tapping out a complicated little rhythm, seemingly of its own accord. You concentrate hard, and realize you can hear beautiful music coming from the far side of the grounds. Your hips start to sway back and forth a little as you hum along.

Follow your hips

You figure that your hips don't lie, so you follow where their swaying leads you. You find a little beach behind the croquet grounds, and there are all manner of aquatic creatures lined up, doing a complicated dance.

"Hey," you ask a passing sea lion, "what're you guys doing?"

"It's the Lobster Quadrille," the sea lion says. "Hurry and grab a lobster, or there won't be any left!"

You quickly snag a partnerless lobster, and you and the crustacean dance for what seems like hours.

You look up to see that it's gotten dark, and that your lobster is nowhere to be found. You see the same sea lion you saw before, and grab his flipper. "Where'd everybody go?"

"It's the post-Quadrille dinner! Yeesh, what're you, new?" he says.

Turns out dinner is a delicious lobster bisque, with lobster alfredo and lobster juice to drink. You're so stuffed that you can't finish your lobster tail.

Lobstertail.gifYou acquire an item: Lobster qua Grill
Stick to croquet
croqueteer This monster is a Dude -- (edit metadata)
  • Item Drops: croquet hedgehog, flamingo mallet
  • Meat Drop: 40-60
  • Monster Level: Scales with player's Moxie (max 400) • Substat Gain: 25% of Monster Attack • Moxie for No Hit*: Scales with player's Moxie (max 400)
  • Monster Defense: Scales with player's Muscle (max 400)
  • Hit Points: 75% of Monster Defense
  • Initiative: 75
  • Elemental Alignment: None


  • Occurs for Disco Bandits when selecting the option The Croquet Grounds in A Moment of Reflection.
  • Despite what the text in the Follow your hips option suggests, choosing it doesn't cause your character to gain any fullness.