The Council of Loathing
From TheKolWiki
The Council of Loathing are the folks that run the Kingdom of Loathing, with the current King of Loathing being otherwise occupied in being kidnapped by the Naughty Sorceress. The Council convenes in Seaside Town, where they send adventurers on quests around the Kingdom depending on their levels.
An adventurer who has completed all quests from the council available to them will be told the following:
- Unfortunately, there are no more tasks required of you by the Council at this time. Return later, when you are more experienced.
In addition, level 1 players who have completed the Toot Oriole Quest will receive the following helpful advice on becoming stronger:
- Say, it's a new Adventurer! Welcome, welcome! Boy, we sure can use people like you right about now.
- Oh, but where are our manners? We're the Council of Loathing. And you are...
- <username>! There's a hero's name if we ever heard one. Listen, we're gonna have plenty of work for you, but first, you should probably spend a little time getting your bearings.
- You look a little underpowered, so maybe you can head off to one of the less dangerous parts of the Kingdom. Let's say...
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- Come back after you've explored a little, and we'll be ready with your first assignment.
And when they return, they'll receive this:
- We don't have anything you can help us with right now, Adventurer. You should go explore a little, get your bearings, and come back when you're a little stronger.
- You could check out the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, in the Nearby Plains.
- Or maybe the Haunted Pantry is more your style -- you can find it inside Spookyraven Manor over on the Right Side of the Tracks.
- Another option is The Sleazy Back Alley, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks. But you didn't hear it from us.
Some special challenge paths change the dialogue with the Council in some way:
- For those on the Zombie Slayer path, things are... a little different.
- The council gets starstruck of Sneaky Pete's coolness.
- During Heavy Rains, the rain causes a lot of trouble.
- As Ed the Undying, you gain counsel with Amun instead.
- In the Avatar of West of Loathing path, the council try to translate for Westerners.
- Within The Source, you can see the code behind the Council.
- As a Gelatinous Noob, things are... a little different.
- Those with a License to Adventure get a secret agent's debriefing.
- During Pocket Familiars, the council makes an attempt to adjust.
- During Disguises Delimit, the council is a bit more laid back during the masquerade.
- Adventurers with the Dark Gyffte will find the council decrying them.
- Those undertaking the Path of the Plumber will find the council unusually mushroom-like.
- If you are a You, Robot, the council will refresh your memory.
- During Wildfire, the council discusses the current state of the kingdom.
- During Grey Goo, many Council quests are unavailable.
- During Fall of the Dinosaurs, the council is in a panic over the kingdom's newest denizens.
- During Avatar of Shadows Over Loathing, the council talk to you like a foreigner from the 1920s.
- During A Shrunken Adventurer Am I, the council adjusts to your miniature status.
- During 11 Things I Hate About U, the council avoids using the letter u.
- During Avant Guard, the council Breaks the fourth wall. A lot. Also there are bodyguards.
- Adventurers and their familiars in Z is for Zootomist will find the council recoiling in abject terror and disgust to them.
Contents
Quests
- Level 1 - Toot Oriole Quest - After you ascend, the Council will still send you to visit the Oriole, but you do not need to complete this quest again. If you return to the Council before reading the letter from King Ralph XI, the Council will remind you about it:
- Welcome, Adventurer! It looks like you've got some business to take care of before we put you to work. Some mail to read, perhaps?
- Level 2 - Spooky Forest Quest
- Level 3 - Typical Tavern Quest - This is not available until you have completed the Spooky Forest Quest
- Level 4 - Bitchin' Meatcar Quest - This is now obsolete. The Guilds will now give you the Bitchin' meatcar Quest. If you haven't joined your Guild by the time you hit level 4, the Council will urge you to do so:
- Adventurer! Now that you're getting a little stronger, you should really consider joining your class's Guild. Head over to the Brotherhood of the Smackdown|League of the Chef-Magi|Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts, on the Right|Wrong Side of the Tracks, and talk to Gunther|Gorgonzola|Shifty.
- Level 4 - Boss Bat Quest
- Level 5 - The King of Cobb's Knob Quest
- Level 6 - Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest
- Level 7 - Undefile the Cyrpt Quest
- Level 8 - Mt. McLargeHuge Quest
- Level 9 - Strange Leaflet Quest - optional
- Level 9 - Orc Chasm Quest - This is not available until you have completed The King of Cobb's Knob Quest
- Level 10 - Giant Trash Quest
- Level 11 - Quest for the Holy MacGuffin
- Level 12 - Make War, Not . . . Oh, Wait
- Level 13 - Naughty Sorceress Quest - This is not available until you have completed all the non-optional quests
Non-Quest Text
- If you have thrown and caught a water balloon 111 times, the first time each day:
- With such a high water balloon toss score, you truly are a winner!
You acquire an effect: Water Balloon Champion
(duration: 100 Adventures)
- If you are the first person of the day to get the buff:
- You're the first tosser for the day, so you're in the lead with N tosses!
- If you beat today's high score otherwise:
- You're now the lead tosser for the day with N tosses!
- If you were the highest scorer yesterday:
- Congrats! You were the overall water balloon toss champion yesterday! Hit up the trophy hut for a prize. (PS. You'll be inelligible[sic] for future contests.)
Notes
- If a quest is available to take, the Council will turn on the Adventurer-signal.
- The Council does not activate the Adventurer-signal when you are ready to go after the Naughty Sorceress.
History
- The council adjourned during the rise of the Penguin Mafia. The council's words during this time have been lost to the sands of time, and not because of the activities of wholesome, good-natured penguins.
- On the 32nd of October 2005 (1st November), it was announced that this Council "had some news." Upon paying them a visit, they send you on a quest to rid the land of The Gray Plague (no level requirement). On November 7th, the quest was closed without an announcement.
- Just before the implementation of NS13 (and a little bit afterwards, due to a bug), an adventurer who was level 11 or 12 and had completed all quests up to that point would get the message:
- Unfortunately, there are no more tasks required of you by the Council at this time. Return later, when more content has been added.
- The Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest used to require completion of the Typical Tavern Quest. This requirement was removed on October 22, 2010 with the revamp of the tavern.
- As a result of The Second Eldritch Incursion, the line 'By the way, we're sick of all these disasters. Holes in the sky. Tentacle beasts trying to eat our town? We're going to do something about this, you just wait.' will sometimes appear after the quest-specific text.
- On or before September 3, 2020, the council stopped saying the line about disasters and tentacle beasts and started saying: 'Well, we never did anything about all this weird stuff... and now there's rumors of some grey goo? Oops.'
- On or before October 16, 2021, the council stopped saying the line about grey goo and started saying: 'Not again, what has Lyle wrought with his warehouse line?'
References
- The Adventurer Signal is the KoL version of the Bat-Signal.
- Reverse reference: MC Frontalot has a song about Kingdom of Loathing named The Council of Loathing on his album Zero Day. The Quest for the Legendary Beat was a quest that came out to coincide with the album's release.