The Clownlord Beelzebozo

The Clownlord Beelzebozo
Monster ID	569
Locations	The "Fun" House: Lurking at the Threshold
Hit Points	40
Attack	27
Defense	27
No-Hit	37
Initiative	85
Meat	None
Phylum	horror
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops None
Quest	turtle chain (Turtle Tamer only), distilled seal blood (Seal Clubber only), Peppercorns of Power (Sauceror only), high-octane olive oil (Pastamancer only), golden reeds (Accordion Thief only), vial of mojo (Disco Bandit only)
Bounty	empty greasepaint tube
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting The Clownlord Beelzebozo

Beelzebozo, the Clown Prince of Darkness, smiles evilly at you from atop his throne of human funny-bones.

"Welcome to my lair, adventurer. Your disguise may have fooled my security system, but it does not fool me. You will not leave this place alive. Do you have any witty last words?"

"Screw you, clown," you reply, wittily.

Hit Message(s):

He tells you the most horribly disturbing joke you've ever heard. It's like "The Aristocrats", but with more necropaedophilia. Ooh! Ow! Ow! (sleaze damage)

He does a little juggling act with an apple, a bowling pin, and your still-beating heart. Wait, what? Ooh! Ow! Argh!

He holds out his fingers and asks you to pick two. Then he pokes you in the eyes. Argh! Argh! Ow!

He dumps a bucket of water over you, but fortunately it's just confetti -- razor-sharp steel confetti. So I guess what I meant there was 'UNfortunately'. Ugh! Ugh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He laughs demonically -- a horrible screeching cackle that freezes your soul right down to the bones. Of your soul. Ow! Oof! Ow! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tells you a horribly disturbing joke, but it's one you've heard before, so it's not very impactful.

He does a little juggling act, but he's no Flying Karamozov Brothers. Not even just one of them.

He tries to poke you in the eyes, but you turn your hand sideways and block him.

He dumps a bucket of water over you, but fortunately it's just confetti. Still, you're gonna be picking that stuff out of your hair for days.

Fumble Message:

He lunges for your throat, but slips on an inconviently-placed banana peel. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

• As a Seal Clubber

You acquire an item: distilled seal blood (100% chance)*

• As a Turtle Tamer

You acquire an item: turtle chain (100% chance)*

• As a Pastamancer

You acquire an item: high-octane olive oil (100% chance)*

• As a Sauceror

You acquire an item: Peppercorns of Power (100% chance)*

• As a Disco Bandit

You acquire an item: vial of mojo (100% chance)*

• As an Accordion Thief

You acquire an item: golden reeds (100% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire an item: empty greasepaint tube (100% chance)*

You gain 35 <substat>.

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Occurs at The "Fun" House.

Notes

• Beelzebozo drops one class-specific item.
• Once you have defeated Beelzebozo, this adventure will no longer occur (becomes a one-time adventure).
• Does not count as a boss for the Knob Goblin Organ Grinder's purposes.
• This monster cannot be copied.

References

• This monster is a cross between Bozo the Clown and Beelzebub, Prince of Darkness, another name for the Devil.
• "Beelzebozo" was a stand-up comedy bit by the late Bill Hicks.
• The phrase "Screw you, clown" may be a reference to a common urban legend referred to as "the Bozo No-No". Snopes doubts its authenticity.
  • However, your retort "Screw you, clown!" is more likely an allusion to an infamous "shaggy dog" "joke," which could (in polite company) be called the "Screw you, clown!" joke. It is described here, and one variant of it is given here.
  • The Aristocrats is a famous form of dirty joke.
• "Screw you, Clown!" is also a reference to the Stephen King novel It.
• Beelzebozo's title may be a reference to the Batman villain The Joker, also known as "The Clown Prince of Crime."
• The Flying Karamazov Brothers are a world-famous juggling and comedy troupe.
• The "pick two fingers" attack, and the corresponding dodge message, are references to The Three Stooges.