The Barrelmech of Diogenes
|The Barrelmech of Diogenes|
|Locations||The Biggest Barrel|
The final slats of the huge barrel fall away, and inside you discover... more barrels? A huge pile of them? But wait -- they're moving! They rise and shift and lock in place with booming hollow clonking sounds, forming a massive structure that gradually unfolds into a towering humanoid form -- a huge wooden battle-robot!
A hatch opens in the figure's head, and little old man with a scraggly white beard and filthy linen tunic pops up, his fists raised triumphantly in the air. "It works!" he shouts. "It works! And now I'll show them the value of simplicity and austerity! I'll show them all! I shall use artifice against artifice and destroy all the false works of mankind! He who owns nothing has nothing to lose!"
"No man is hurt but by himself!" Diogenes shouts as he stomps on you. "Or by my giant barrel robot!" Oof! Oof! Eek! Oof! Ow!
"Of what use is a philosopher that doesn't hurt anybody's feelings?" he asks, and then takes the direct approach to this goal by crushing your skull. Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ugh! Eek!
He comes down on you like a tun of bricks. Oof! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Oof!
Diogenes cackles from above while stomping on you with his giant barrel feet. "Sooner or later, everybody puts up with Diogenes!" he crows. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ugh! Argh! Oof! Ow! Argh!
Diogenes tries to stomp on you with his giant barrel feet, but he's a bit too ponderous and you easily dodge.
|You acquire an item: barrelhead|
|You acquire an item: chest barrel|
|You acquire an item: bottoms of the barrel|
Occurs at The Biggest Barrel.
- Never misses.
- The Crown of Ed the Undying can still force him to miss.
- Immune to stuns and staggering.
- Dealing more than 150 damage in one round will cause his HP to reset to maximum with the following message:
- Your powerful blow reduces the monstrosity to a pile of loose slats, but the loose slats quickly reform into another identical monstrosity. Dangit!
- The Barrelmech of Diogenes will always drop exactly 1 piece of the outfit.
- If you run or lose the fight, the map is not used up:
- You find your map lying in a pool of your blood.
|You acquire an item: map to the Biggest Barrel|
- However, you may only enter this fight once per day. If you lose or run away and use the map again, you receive the message "You're still sore from your last encounter with that barrel. Maybe try again tomorrow."