The Armory and Leggery
From TheKolWiki
[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer runs The Armory and Leggery in Market Square.
The items for sale here are grouped into five categories: Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Utensils, Hats, and Pants.
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[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer "Hey, what are you lookin' at? Just kidding. Don't worry, I've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions. |
| The sign says there's a sale? |
Items Sold
Notes
- The shopkeeper's name varies from character to character, and changes with each ascension, though the filename of the image is 'matt.gif'. Reported aliases are Art, Bill, Bob, Jack, Matt, Sandy, Warren as well as the duo of Kurt 'n Rod who look like this:
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Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer, Respectively "Hey, what are you lookin' at? Just kidding. Don't worry, we've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions. Questions like 'How do you make all this gear with no arms or legs?' Anyway, what can we get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?" |
- The sections for standard ascension gear from previous years only appear if you have the relevant currency (ex: wickerbits, bakelite bits, etc).
- In a Zombie Slayer run, the store is closed:
- As you approach the Armory & Leggery, the first thing you notice is the large number of motionless corpses lying around, many of them with some or all of their head blown off, and the rest with crossbow bolts sticking out of their eyes.
- As you ponder the scene, a zombie shuffles up to see what you're doing. "Graaaa-urk!" he says, as a flaming arrow sails out of the window of the A&L and into his ear. It's at this point that you decide that maybe you should steer clear of the town's largest and best-defended weapons cache.
- In a Nuclear Autumn run, the store is closed:
- Looks like the Armorer and Leggerer felt like the risk of losing additional limbs due to mutation was too great. They packed up and left the store barren.
- In a Kingdom of Exploathing run, the entire market district is gone and this store is unavailable
History
- The Armory and Leggery was an expansion to the Market Square added to the Kingdom on February 27, 2006.
- In an impressive show of mercantile fortitude on March 5, 2006, The Armory and Leggery came to acquire all of the martial equipment that used to be sold by the Market including the snorkel, cool whip, studded leather boxer shorts, sweet ninja sword, slingshot, and Kentucky-style derby.
- On October 31st, 2013, the slingshot was replaced with toy accordion.
- On February 9, 2015, the Armory and Leggery added a section for utensils.
- On April 1, 2016, the Armory and Leggery added the fishin' hat with the implementation of the Clan Floundry.
References
- The shopkeeper's different names refer to a series of jokes which always start out with, "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs..."
- "...lying in front of a door? A: Matt."
- "...hanging from a wall? A: Art."
- "...stuck in a mailbox? A: Bill."
- "...floating in the water? A: Bob."
- "...underneath a car? A: Jack."
- "...on a beach? A: Sandy."
- "...with fifty rabbits stuck up his butt? A: Warren."
- "...two men with no arms, no legs, and stuck on top of a window? A: Kurt 'n Rod."
