Teddy Bear

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Block rate, XP loss formula
Teddy Bear

Need some protection?
Let him be your teddy bear
Better him than you.

Absorbs enemy attacks for you

Ability: Absorbs damage at the cost of weight

Throne/Bjorn: Combat Initiative +20%, sometimes deals 15-25 Sleaze Damage and delevels by 3-5.

Hatchling: Teddybear.gif teddy bear

Familiar-Specific Equipment: Smallcase.gif teddy bear sewing kit

Arena.gif Ultimate Cage Match Scavenger Hunt Obstacle Course Hide and Seek
Olive.gifOlive.gifOlive.gif Olive.gifOlive.gif Hardcorex.gif Olive.gif

Mumming Trunk Abilities:

+15% Meat Drop 4-5 MP +4 Muscle statgain +15% Item Drop +4 Mysticality statgain 8-10 HP +2 Moxie statgain
Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif Hardcorex.gif
*Hover for details
Dasboot.gifCannot breathe underwater
Combat Messages
  • Regular Message(s):
    Your teddy bear leaps in front of you and bears the brunt of your foe's attack. A bunch of stuffing gets knocked out of it.
  • Enthroned in the Crown of Thrones:
    <Name> tosses a jar of honey at <him>, gumming <him> up and skeeving <him> for 15-25 damage.
    Monster AttackMonster attack power reduced by 3-5
    Monster DefenseMonster defense reduced by 3-5
  • Bjornified in the Buddy Bjorn:
    <Name> appears above your shoulder and stares at your opponent with cold glass eyes. <He> shudders as <his>[sic] takes 15-25 damage.
    Monster AttackMonster attack power reduced by 3-5
    Monster DefenseMonster defense reduced by 3-5
  • With lucky Tam O'Shanter equipped:
    <name> winks one button eye underneath the Tam O'Shanter. And it's no use telling it it can't wink a button eye, believe me.
  • With miniature gravy-covered maypole equipped:
    <name> does a disturbingly exotic teddy-bear dance around the maypole.
  • With wax lips equipped:
    <name> smiles broadly through the wax lips. First one to make a "grin and bear it" joke gets kneecapped.

Arena Messages

  • When entered in an obstacle course:
    <name> has a tough time with the mud pits in the obstacle course, because he keeps soaking up the mud instead of running through it.


  • Every time the teddy bear blocks an attack it absorbs the full damage of the attack, and loses some experience. At higher weights, the teddy bear can absorb several attacks before losing a pound.
  • As of January 18, '06, the teddy bear is no longer effective against your shadow in the tower. You will instead receive this message:
    Your teddy bear leaps in front of you and attempts to block your shadow's attack, but your shadow quickly manifests a teddy-bear shaped hole in its abdomen, which Teddy Bear falls right through. Tough luck, Teddy Bear.
  • The Teddy Bear can be used against the Naughty Sorceress, and does effectively block damage from some of her attacks.
  • The Teddy Bear has a 33% chance of blocking an attack. It will block any attack at all as long as it has 26 or more experience.


  • This is a reference to the Teddy Bear item from EarthBound for the SNES, which would absorb damage from enemies when carried into a battle.
  • The second line of the haiku refers to the Elvis Presley song "Teddy Bear". Part of the lyrics goes "Baby let me be / Your lovin’ teddy bear - / Put a chain around my neck / And lead me anywhere."
  • The miniature gravy-covered maypole dance is a reference to the children's song "Picnic Time for Teddy Bears".