Tan Gnat

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Tan Gnat
Monster ID 135
Locations Inside the Palindome
Hit Points 128
Attack 136
Defense 127
No-Hit 146
Initiative 50
Meat 16-24
Phylum bug
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, wing
filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif"), gnatwing, suntan lotion of moxiousness
Manuel glass of gnat milk
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Tan Gnat You're fighting a Tan Gnat

This is a gnat, which isn't remarkable, but it's deeply tanned, which is remarkable. I mean, how do you rub sunscreen on a gnat?

Hit Message(s):

It lands right on your face and makes itself at home. You swat at it and bop yourself in the nose. Ouch! Ugh!

It buzzes about you annoyingly. You try to swat it and smack yourself in the <nipple>. Ouch! Ow!

It manages to land right in your eye. While trying to get it out, you poke yourself pretty hard. Eek! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

It flies away and comes back with a swarm of gnats, some of whom are gnattily dressed. They swarm around you, making a general nuisance of themselves. You suck a few down your windpipe and start coughing until you get dizzy and fall down. Argh! Eek! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

It lands right on your face, but doesn't have anything with which it can bite, suck, or scratch.

It buzzes around annoyingly, but can't do any real damage.

It buzzes around your eye, but you catch it in your eyelashes. Wow, I haven't seen a move like that in Æons.

It tries to rub tanning lotion on you, but the tiny gnat-sized bottle isn't big enough to covery ou[sic].

It buzzes around your navel, but you point out a gnat isn't a fruit fly and your navel is not a navel orange.

Fumble Message:

It summons a swarm of his gnat buddies, all of whom are as effective as just one of them is. Which is to say, not very at all. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 16-24 Meat (average: 20, stdev: 2)*
Gnatwing.gifYou acquire an item: gnatwing (40.4% chance)*
Lotion.gifYou acquire an item: suntan lotion of moxiousness (51.9% chance)*
Gnatfilet.gifYou acquire an item: filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif") (39.6% chance)*
You gain 34 <substat>.

Occurs Inside the Palindome.


  • The image for this monster was silently changed on February 18, 2014. It used to be:


  • Catching the gnat in your eyelashes is a reference to the cartoon series Æon Flux. The opening of the original series depicted a fly crawling on Æon's face before being caught between her eyelashes.