Talk to Mourn
Good evening, and welcome to Belilafs, Hey Deze's finest (and only) comedy club! My name is Mourn, your host. I'm an empath demon, and I can tell your fortune for you if you make me laugh!
Seriously, please, make me laugh. I haven't had a good laugh in forever. Y'know, it's kind of like how when you work in a pizza parlor, you start hating pizza? Heck, I'll even give you this ancient talisman of unspeakable evil if you can give me a hearty guffaw. Care to give it a try?
| Insult Mourn |
"Hey," you say, "nice horns! It's like you've got two pointed, red horns on top of your head or something! I bet it's -- uh -- hard to wear hats!"
Mourn looks, well, mournful. "It is, actually," he says. "That's not funny. Maybe you should try and soak up some of the ambiance here before you try making me laugh again."
with Victor, the Insult Comic Hellhound Puppet equipped (works only once, then button disappears):
You hold up the puppet and try to approximate Victor's weird quasi-BorderTown accent. "Hey, those are some nice horns you have . . . FOR ME TO DOUSE IN FLAMING SULFUROUS URINE!"
Mourn chuckles appreciatively. "Ah," he says, "insults are always funnier when they're coming out of a puppet's mouth, aren't they? Anyway, your fortune: I predict that your fortune will increase in the near future." Mourn winks at you, then tosses a few meat stacks your way.
 | You acquire 3 meat stacks |
| Try Some Observational Humor |
"So," you say, "have you noticed how damned souls are always wailing and moaning? It's like, 'guys, give it a rest! It's not like your intestines are being wound around a spiked spindle!"
"Actually," Mourn says, sourly, "winding intestines around a spindle is a fairly common way of torturing damned souls. Maybe you should get a little more familiar with Hey Dezeian humor before you try again."
With Observational glasses equipped (works only once, then button disappears):
"So, how about those G Imps?" you ask. "I mean, they're always wearing those rubber masks with the zippers on the mouth! What's the deal with that?"
Mourn slaps his knee and bellows laughter. "That's hilarious!" he says. "It's funny 'cause it's true: they are always wearing those sexy -- er, disturbing, I mean -- masks! Here's your fortune: you're closer to completing the quest you're on."
He reaches under the bar and pulls out a big, round lollipop. You see it says, "PROPERTY OF AZAZEL" on it.
 | You acquire an item: Azazel's lollipop |
| Try Some Prop comedy |
You grab a pen and draw a moustache on your finger. "Look at me!" you say. "I have a moustache! Ha, ha, ha, look at me and my moustache."
Mourn groans and rolls his glowing red eyes. "You know what helps when you're doing prop comedy?" he asks. "Props. Maybe you should soak up some ambiance before you try that again."
with Hilarious comedy prop equipped (works only once, then the button disappears):
You hold up your hilarious comedy prop. "Hey," you say, "you look a little unstable. Let me prop you up!"
Mourn giggles a little. "Not bad," he says. "That wasn't enough laughter for me to tell your fortune, but it's enough for this:" he holds out his hands and green light flashes from them. You feel a little wiser, stronger, and cooler than you did a minute ago.
| You gain 10-20 Mysteriousness. |
| You gain 10-20 Smarm. |
| You gain 10-20 Strongness. |
Subsequent visits:
Mourn backs away from you, waving his hands. "Listen, babycakes," he says, "I don't want to insult you -- so don't hang around once you've warn [sic] out your welcome and force me to insult you, okay? Papa's got a date with a stiff drink, and fortune-telling time is over."
Occurs in the Belilafs Comedy Club.
