Talk:The Odd Jobs Board

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More Jobs

Wanted: Manor Painter
The exterior of Spookyraven Manor needs a fresh coat of whitewash, to cover the horrors that lurk within (and the dry rot that lurks without).
Wages: 300
Wanted: Apple Harvester
Molly Applecore, the owner of Loathing's only apple orchard, needs a hired hand to help harvest and crate her daily apple crop. Once all the apples have been loaded into crates, she'll ship all of them to Distant Lands, because everyone knows there's no market for apples in the Kingdom.
Wages: 1000
Wanted: Meal Deliverer
A local restaurant has begin a program of delivering meals to the elderly and shut-ins, and needs someone to make deliveries.
Wages: 1000
Wanted: Death-Quip Writer
Secret agent Ionic Bond (who always tells people his real, full name, because that's what a good secret agent does) seeks a moxious writer to write pun-based, badass quips he can make after offing a villain.
Wages: 1000
The 300 meat job takes 3 adventures, the 1000 meat jobs take 10 adventures. Let's try one...
You spend the day harvesting apples, hauling apples, even squeezing apple cider. You're tempted to taste the forbidden fruit, but that never works out well in the stories you've read.
Adventures You lose 10 Adventures.
You gain 88 Fortitude.
You gain 46 Mysteriousness.
You gain a Mysticality point!
You gain 47 Sarcasm.
You gain 1,000 Meat.
Don't have time to format this properly, but there you go. One data point. --Johnny Treehugger (talk) 21:32, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

Just to confirm, it's showing one 3-adventure job and three 10-adventure jobs for me. Has anyone ever seen anything different? --billybobfred (talk) 23:42, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

  • That is what it looks like. One small job and three tall jobs, one for each mainstat. --Sparksol (t|c) 00:20, 26 September 2014 (UTC)

Job Responses

Should we add these in here, or on a separate page? Like that one Johnny Treehugger mentioned above:
"You spend the day harvesting apples, hauling apples, even squeezing apple cider. You're tempted to taste the forbidden fruit, but that never works out well in the stories you've read.
Adventures You lose 10 Adventures.
You gain 88 Fortitude.
You gain 46 Mysteriousness.
You gain a Mysticality point!
You gain 47 Sarcasm.
You gain 1,000 Meat."
--Sparksol (t|c) 04:40, 26 September 2014 (UTC)

I say we should add them over here - that seems more fitting. I've tried to edit the template to allow results as input, but I can't get it quite right.Blargh (talk) 09:14, 27 September 2014 (UTC)

Text from the board, yesterday and today

Here's some data.

You look at the Odd Jobs Board to see what weird tasks people are currently hiring for. Wanted: Graffiti Transplanter The Sleazy Back Alley is covered in gross and explicit graffiti. The Council is outraged, and wants someone to erase all of that filth--and painstakingly transcribe it onto the Graffiti Wall, where it belongs. Wages: 300

Wanted: Hod Carrier The Pretentious Artist has come up in the world a bit, and is adding a layer of mud to his dirt-walled hovel. He needs someone to kneel before a hod(a flat board with a carrying handle, piled high with mud), lift the hod into the air, and hold it while an artisan daubs mud onto the hovel. Wages: 1000

Wanted: Wall Shaver One of the broom closets in Spookyraven Manor has become a hellish, obscenely biological nightmare, its wallpapered walls transfigured into human flesh. Even worse, that flesh is covered in gross hair! The ideal applicant will be able to shave the walls without going mad from the tortured whispering leaking under the doorway. Wages: 1000

Wanted: Cobweb Hanger Some genius at the Loathing Historical Preservation Society left the window open in the foyer of Spookyraven Manor, and all the cobwebs blew away. The Society seeks someone with an eye for interior decorating to artfully arrange imported cobwebs. Wages: 1000

You look at the Odd Jobs Board to see what weird tasks people are currently hiring for. Wanted: Chip Stacker The Head Croupier at the Thatch-Roof Casino needs someone to sort the poker chips by color and weight, then stack them neatly. It's an obsessive-compulsive's dream job. Wages: 300

Wanted: Paper Adult The Loathing Herald-Times-Tribune-Messenger needs muscle-bound persons to stack giant bundles of newspapers into semi-tractor-trailers to be hauled all over the Kingdom. The ideal candidate won't comment on what a waste of time and resources it is to print news on dead trees every day. Wages: 1000

Wanted: Transmutation Subject The League of Chef-Magi needs someone for trainees to practice transformation spells on. Strong stomach required, must not be allergic to animal dander. Wages: 900 magicalness-in-a-can magicalness-in-a-can (3)

Wanted: Pocket Pickee The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts needs someone to stand around while trainees steal their wallet over and over. Wages: 900 moxie weed moxie weed (3)

--Authority2 (talk) 08:46, 26 September 2014 (UTC)

Guess we better get at it...

lvl26 DB(not that I think it matters), Packrat.

If you want to add your collected data, simply update the numbers if you got a number of substats lower than the lowest value or higher than the highest value. -Lackofmops

Chip Stacker=You gain 17-19 Beefiness. You gain 18-19 Wizardliness. You gain 20-26 Roguishness.

Knob Polisher=You gain 17 Beefiness. You gain 20 Magicalness. You gain 20 Chutzpah.

Gutter Polisher=You grab a rag and canvas the streets of Seaside Town (it's a canvas rag) until the gutters are all as clean as it is possible for a gutter to be.

Stock-Taker=You gain 20 Strengthliness. You gain 20 Enchantedness. You gain 18 Cheek.

Fountain Cleaner=You gain 17 Strongness. You gain 20 Wizardliness. You gain 19 Smarm.

Museum Cleaner=You gain 15 Beefiness. You gain 16 Wizardliness. You gain 27 Roguishness.

Manor Painter=You gain 18 Strongness. You gain 15 Magicalness. You gain 22 Roguishness.

Paper Adult=You gain 83 Strengthliness. You gain 40 Enchantedness. You gain 45 Cheek.

Weight Re-racker=You gain 84 Fortitude. You gain 40 Mysteriousness. You gain 48 Smarm.

Squirrel Defense Specialist=You gain 79 Muscleboundness. You gain 43 Mysteriousness. You gain 54 Chutzpah.

Hod Carrier=You gain 78 Beefiness. You gain 44 Mysteriousness. You gain 66 Chutzpah.

Crossword Editor=You gain 45 Strongness. You gain 83 Wizardliness. You gain 64 Roguishness.//You gain 45 Muscleboundness. You gain 92 Magicalness. You gain 62 Cheek.//You gain 40 Strengthliness. You gain 82 Wizardliness. You gain 53 Smarm.

Staff Polisher=You gain 42 Beefiness. You gain 84 Wizardliness. You gain 46 Sarcasm.

Salve Taste-Tester=Adventures=You gain 40 Strongness. You gain 78 Enchantedness. You gain 56 Cheek.

Love-Potion Brewer=You gain 49 Strengthliness. You gain 86 Wizardliness. You gain 46 Cheek.

Meal Deliverer=You gain 40 Fortitude. You gain 91 Enchantedness. You gain 52 Roguishness.

Library Organizer=You gain 41 Muscleboundness. You gain 86 Magicalness. You gain 58 Roguishness.//You gain 48 Beefiness. You gain 75 Wizardliness. You gain 54 Roguishness.

Salad Spinner=You gain 45 Fortitude. You gain 96 Magicalness. You gain 49 Sarcasm.//You gain 43 Strongness. You gain 81 Magicalness. You gain 46 Sarcasm.

Transmutation Subject=You gain 43 Strongness. You gain 81 Magicalness. You gain 48 Sarcasm.

Lunacy-Tolerant Scribe=You gain 40 Muscleboundness. You gain 96 Magicalness. You gain 50 Smarm.

Genie Bottler=You gain 42 Strengthliness. You gain 87 Enchantedness. You gain 60 Chutzpah.//You gain 45 Strengthliness. You gain 78 Wizardliness. You gain 55 Smarm.

Eyebrow Archer=You gain 44 Strongness. You gain 46 Mysteriousness. You gain 109 Chutzpah.

Twister=You gain 49 Strengthliness. You gain 47 Enchantedness. You gain 103 Sarcasm.

Sunglasses Model=You gain 49 Beefiness. You gain 40 Wizardliness. You gain 97 Chutzpah.

Cobweb Hanger=You gain 41 Beefiness. You gain 47 Mysteriousness. You gain 85 Roguishness.

Barrel Arranger=You gain 43 Beefiness. You gain 48 Enchantedness. You gain 86 Sarcasm.

Artist's Model=You gain 40 Strengthliness. You gain 43 Enchantedness. You gain 106 Chutzpah.//You gain 50 Fortitude. You gain 50 Wizardliness. You gain 91 Cheek.

Death-Quip Writer=You gain 47 Strongness. You gain 48 Wizardliness. You gain 133 Chutzpah.

Sleight-of-Foot Magician=You gain 42 Fortitude. You gain 49 Enchantedness. You gain 114 Roguishness.
Blargh (talk) 18:49, 27 September 2014 (UTC)

Minor mistakes

I don't know if this is in-game or an error in copy and paste but the job description and the result of the job are both the same on the "Wanted: Barrel Arranger" job listing near the bottom of the list.--Tombot (talk) 02:45, 1 October 2014 (UTC)

  • Hello, its me again from the terrifying dark future of 2017! I just noticed "that Wanted: Graffiti Transplanter" seems to have the wrong text too, or is that how it is in the game?--Tombot (talk) 22:56, 15 April 2017 (UTC)