Talk:Mer-kin Colosseum

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These guys have special messages at the end of most turns that have a word in bold, and seem to indicate a special move they will perform the next turn (eg. healing, massive damage). I'm pretty sure that the special moves that you get from the +pvp weapons can be used to counter the special moves (based on the word in bold).

So, is my theory right, and, if so, what weapon is it optimal to use for each of the opponents? --KingBobson (talk) 00:07, 1 April 2013 (UTC)


you are correct

Mer-kin balldodger is countered with the Mer-kin dragnet

Mer-kin bladeswitcher is countered with the Mer-kin dodgeball

Mer-kin netdragger is countered with the Mer-kin switchblade

--cameron (talk) 22:26, 2 April 2013 (UTC)

Is there a way of predicting the next opponent then? So that you can switch out for your appropriate weapon. --Ricardo4316 (talk) 13:53, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

Yes. You should always use: dragnet, switchblade, dodgeball (and repeat the pattern) --Qbzzt (talk) 14:53, 19 July 2013 (UTC)


  • After five rounds, it looks like if you lose or run away you get the same opponent again. --Club (#66669) (Talk) 20:52, 5 April 2013 (UTC)

Are there any item that drop in this zone? Have had no item drop. If confirmed expect this would be worth a note. --MadonKody (talk) 18:44, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

Based on one runthrough, it appears that they appear in the order dodgeball, dragnet, switchblade -- in other words, Rock, Paper, Scissors. Can anyone confirm or deny? --Flimflam (talk) 01:21, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

Killing without the skills

I'm trying to do the coliseum without learning the kill skills, and can get to the 14th fight with little difficulty (and pure luck). Any ideas as how to kill the 14th? He heals after everything I throw at him. --Stonecat (talk) 16:15, 23 May 2013 (UTC)

Since lantern only grants 1 bonus hit (you get 2 hits off WotPL), I do not know whether it's better to use saucegeyser over WotLP when you're using the reflection equips.--The ErosionSeeker (talk) 13:16, 24 May 2013 (UTC)

  • Don't forget Frigidalmatian. That combined with the Pastalord/Green Lantern method above might be able to take down the bosses in one hit.--Guyy (talk) 23:56, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

Bosses are not Mer-Kin?

I failed on turns vs. the first boss and thought I could use ragejuice to up my damage considerably with its "+100 damage to Mer-kin" effect. I am not seeing any appreciable rise in damage. Elsewhere, I have seen a comment that using a pinkslip against them results in the "non-Mer-kin" response. Why are these Mer-kin, who, what with their love of cruelty and hatred towards all other lifeforms, are probably the Mer-kinniest of all Mer-kins, not counted as Mer-kin?? MolotovH (talk) 23:07, 22 June 2013 (UTC)

  • I think the in-story answer would be because these Mer-kin are so trained at fighting they are not susceptible to such trickery. Out-of-story, it's because that would make it too easy. --Club (#66669) (Talk) 00:21, 23 June 2013 (UTC)
  • Counter opinion: They are bosses and have some form of damage reduction and can block certain items.--Toffile (talk) 00:23, 23 June 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm pretty sure all the gladiators have some degree of physical and elemental resistance and/or damage caps. —Yendor (talk) 06:55, 23 June 2013 (UTC)

Complete Message List

Before the fight (Rounds 1-12)

  • A spattering of little bubbles float out of the conch-shell speakers like underwater static as the announcer calls "Round X!"
  • Little bubbles swarm from the conch-shell speakers like tiny silver fish as the announcer shouts "Round X!"
  • "Round X!" announces the announcer, and the audience applauds the announcer's announcement.
  • "Round X!" barks the odd seashell-based PA system, and a raucous cheer goes up from the audience.
  • The announcer's voice bubbles forth from the weird conch-shell speakers surrounding the colosseum. "Round X!"
  • The audience cheers and waves little pennants as the announcer shouts "Round X!"

After the fight (Rounds 1-14)

  • A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"
  • "Ooh, right in the gristlepipe!" the color-commentator exclaims. "He'll feel that in the morning, assuming he feels anything at all ever again!"
"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.
  • "The challenger wins!" yells the announcer.
"The defender doesn't seem too happy about that," the color-commentator adds.
"Isn't that his breatheknuckle on the ground? I'm pretty sure he's dead, actually."
"I bet he isn't happy about that either!"
  • The crowd bursts into a frenzy of cheering (or jeering, it's kind of hard to tell, what with this whole thing taking place underwater) as you advance into the next round of the tournament.
  • "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!"
"I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my braincase," adds the color-commentator.
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer over the conch-shell PA system. "I haven't seen a bout like that since Petersaul the Hammerspike cut out Moedaddy the Darkfang's filtertube <#> years ago!" the color-commentator says excitedly.
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer, and the excited crowd does "the land", which is similar to "the wave" except everyone sits perfectly still.
  • Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.
  • "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full foodhole-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?"
"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.
  • You raise your fists victoriously, and a chorus of overlapping cheers and groans ripples through the crowd; you see quite a few sand dollars changing hands.

--Baltar (talk) 00:30, 17 November 2018 (UTC)

Messages after each fight

1. A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"

2. Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.

3. "The challenger wins!" yells the announcer. "The defender doesn't seem too happy about that," the color-commentator adds.

"Isn't that his digesttube on the ground? I'm pretty sure he's dead, actually."

"I bet he isn't happy about that either!"

4. "Ooh, right in the pumpcase!" the color-commentator exclaims. "He'll feel that in the morning, assuming he feels anything at all ever again!" "The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

5. The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!" "I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my wastetube," adds the color-commentator.

6. You raise your fists victoriously, and a chorus of overlapping cheers and groans ripples through the crowd; you see quite a few sand dollars changing hands.


7. "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full breathevalve-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?" "The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

8. The crowd bursts into a frenzy of cheering (or jeering, it's kind of hard to tell, what with this whole thing taking place underwater) as you advance into the next round of the tournament.

9. "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!" "I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my bonegland," adds the color-commentator.

10. "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full gristlegill-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?" "The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

11. "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!" "I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my bloodhole," adds the color-commentator.

12. "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer over the conch-shell PA system. "I haven't seen a bout like that since Emilpontius the Bloodgrin cut out Andreandy the Fatface's thinkpan three years ago!" the color-commentator says excitedly.

13. A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"

14. Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.

15. Amidst the howls of either rage or joy from the crowd, you swim up to the announcer's stand. "Congratulations, Champion!" he gurgles. "You have defeated our finest gladiators, and their honor is now yours, as is your rightful prize. You may take it, or you may choose what's inside the mystery box." "I'll take the prize," you say. "The last time I picked the mystery box, I pushed a button and got a million Meat, but then someone I didn't know died. It was a total bummer."

"Very well," the announcer says, "kneel!"

"Um, I have a tail, like all Mer-kin," you say.

"Oh, right. Well, fine. Just take this, and may your name be celebrated in story, song, and story songs! You know, the kind of song that has a complete narrative? Like "The Gambler?"

"Yeah, I get it," you say.

"Prepare yourself," he says, as he pulls an ornate medallion of some dark metal from a velvet-lined ebony box and moves to place it on the forehead part of your gladiator mask.

"Prepare myself for whaaaaaaauuugghhhhhh!" you scream, as the medallion becomes a sigil of liquid fire, branding its pattern into both your mask and your forehead as its physical form dissolves into the water.

"Arise, Champion. They are waiting for you in the Temple."

--Shademaster00 (talk) 01:26, 12 May 2013 (UTC)

Intromessages: (NB:"Round X" (quotes included) are all bold)

  • The audience cheers and waves little pennants as the announcer shouts "Round 10!"
  • "Round 10!" announces the announcer, and the audience applauds the announcer's announcement.
  • A spattering of little bubbles float out of the conch-shell speakers like underwater static as the announcer calls "Round 11!"
  • Little bubbles swarm from the conch-shell speakers like tiny silver fish as the announcer shouts "Round 11!"

Anatomy:

  • bloodhole
  • bonebag
  • bonegland
  • breathevalve
  • digesttube
  • digestvalve
  • foodbladder
  • foodhinge
  • gristlegill
  • gutsglobe
  • pumpcase
  • thinkpan
  • wasteglobe
  • wastetube

Feel free to edit this--Blargh (talk) 14:30, 31 December 2013 (UTC)

Here are some more.

  • "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full filtervalve-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?"

"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer, and the excited crowd does "the land", which is similar to "the wave" except everyone sits perfectly still.
  • "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full foodlobe-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?"

"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

  • The crowd bursts into a frenzy of cheering (or jeering, it's kind of hard to tell, what with this whole thing taking place underwater) as you advance into the next round of the tournament.
  • "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!"

"I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my wastecase," adds the color-commentator.

  • "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!"

"I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my gristlepan," adds the color-commentator.

  • You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full filterglobe-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?"

"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

  • Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.
  • You raise your fists victoriously, and a chorus of overlapping cheers and groans ripples through the crowd; you see quite a few sand dollars changing hands.
  • A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"
  • "You know," says the color-commentator, "I've never seen a full bloodbowl-ectomy before. Who says gladiatorial combat isn't educational?"

"The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.

Anatomy:

  • filtervalve
  • foodlobe
  • wastecase
  • gristlepan
  • filterglobe
  • bloodbowl

Okay, so I'm 100% certain that we don't actually have a billion different anatomical parts. It's [Part A] + [Part B], just like all other Mer-kin language.

FUNCTIONS

  • blood
  • bone
  • breathe
  • digest
  • filter
  • food
  • gristle
  • guts
  • pump
  • think
  • waste

PARTS

  • bag
  • bladder
  • bowl
  • case
  • frond
  • gill
  • gland
  • globe
  • hole
  • lobe
  • pan
  • pipe
  • plate
  • tube
  • valve


--The ErosionSeeker (talk) 23:55, 20 February 2014 (UTC)

Yes, that does indeed seem more probable now.--Blargh (talk) 16:17, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

I'm pretty certain that it works that way - here are the ones I got:

  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer over the conch-shell PA system. "I haven't seen a bout like that since Dandywallace the Fatspike cut out Charliecraig the Ragetooth's pumpcase five years ago!" the color-commentator says excitedly.
  • "The stranger has won!" the announcer shouts. "What an upset!" "I know I'd be pretty upset if someone did that to my foodhinge," adds the color-commentator.
  • Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.
  • "Ooh, right in the wastebone!" the color-commentator exclaims. "He'll feel that in the morning, assuming he feels anything at all ever again!" "The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.
  • A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"
  • "The challenger wins!" yells the announcer. "The defender doesn't seem too happy about that," the color-commentator adds. "Isn't that his biletube on the ground? I'm pretty sure he's dead, actually." "I bet he isn't happy about that either!"
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer over the conch-shell PA system. "I haven't seen a bout like that since Haroldedgar the Fireheart cut out Joecal the Blightshark's bilefrond nine years ago!" the color-commentator says excitedly.
  • "Ooh, right in the digesthinge!" the color-commentator exclaims. "He'll feel that in the morning, assuming he feels anything at all ever again!" "The stranger wins!" shouts the announcer.
  • Victorious, you raise your arms over your head and face the howling crowd of Mer-kin. Some of them throw rotting fish guts at you, and you can't tell whether it's a compliment or an insult.
  • A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer over the conch-shell PA system. "I haven't seen a bout like that since Shempglenn the Firetusk cut out Byronwemberly the Pointyshark's bloodbone four years ago!" the color-commentator says excitedly.
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer, and the excited crowd does "the land", which is similar to "the wave" except everyone sits perfectly still.
  • "The stranger has won the round!" shouts the announcer, and the excited crowd does "the land", which is similar to "the wave" except everyone sits perfectly still.
  • A chorus of shocked gasps (more like shocked gulps, really) emerges from the crowd as you land the final blow. The announcer's voice booms forth: "The stranger wins, and advances to the next round!"
  • (The message for winning round 15 was the same as everyone else's)

Note that I got "bloodbone" and "wastebone", however, so it seems that "bone" can go in either Part A or Part B... now I wonder if it's possible to get "bonebone"... --Llamacookie (talk) 22:21, 17 February 2018 (UTC)