Talk:Clan hot dog stand

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Overeating

  • I missed the first overeating message, but eating a second results in:
You remember that you have an extra loop of large intestine that you keep in reserve for emergencies, and manage to clear a hot-dog-shaped space in your stomach for your second extra one.
You lose 2 Beefiness.
You lose 2 Roguishness.
You lose 2 Enchantedness.
  • And a third:
You let out your gut, psych yourself up, and cram a third extra hot dog down your gullet. It lands sideways in the last bit of space at the very top of your stomach, almost emptying out the whole works.
(lose 4 of each stat)
  • 4th, 8 stats of each lost:
If you think about it, lungs are basically the same as stomachs, right? They're all little gooey pouches inside your body, right? You cram a fourth extra hot dog into your left lung. You sweat and feel short of breath, but it stays down.
  • 5th, 16 stats of each lost:
You drop a fifth extra hot dog into your right lung. Now it's getting really hard to breathe--and not just because your lungs are full of processed animal protein.
  • 6th:
You drop your diaphragm, belch heavily, and find you can just squeeze a sixth extra hot dog into your throat. I mean, you can see the end of it still if you open your mouth in front of a mirror, but technically it counts.
  • 7th
You wipe sweat off your brow, rub your distended belly, and stare down the seventh extra hot dog. You cram it down your throat, compressing the three hot dogs you ate before it so it just barely fits.
  • 8th
You wipe your sweaty brow, then sniff your palms. My god, even your sweat is starting to smell like hot dogs. You pick up the eighth one, break it in half, and send one half to each of your lungs, where hopefully it'll get absorbed. That's a thing that would happen, right?
  • 9th:
All the salt in the hot dogs is making you bloated. Your fingers look like individual hot dogs themselves, all the creases filled in. You can barely grip the ninth extra hot dog, and you have no idea where in your body you'll put it. Still, you shove it down your throat, smushing all the other hot dogs backed up in there, feeling like the world's least fortunate sword swallower.
  • 10th
You lean back in your chair, stomach distended, intestines aching, your esophagus swollen as it tries to move some traffic down to your guts. Your vision blurry, you grab a tenth extra hot dog. You're starting to get sores in your mouth from all the salt, so you barely chew it; you just will yourself to get the thing far enough down your throat that it counts for the competition.
  • 11th
If someone took an X-ray of your body right now, it'd look like there was a smaller you inside of you, and that smaller you would be made entirely out of hot dogs. That mental image reminds you that you have an entire sinus cavity to fill, though, so you snort the eleventh hot dog.
  • 12th and 13th
You atomize a hot dog and inhale the meaty mist, groaning a little as your digestive system struggles with the load.
  • 14th
You cram another hot dog up your nose, past your sinus cavities, and into the space between your brain hemispheres. It works, but now all you can think about is hot dogs.
  • 15th:
You almost quit eating hot dogs, but then you think of all the starving kids in distant lands, and that makes you hungry enough to cram another one down your aching esophagus.
  • 16th:
You don't feel up to eating that.

--Fig bucket (talk) 02:13, 4 July 2013 (UTC)