Swarthy pirate

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Swarthy pirate
Monster ID 105
Locations The Obligatory Pirate's Cove
Hit Points 53
Attack 63
Defense 56
No-Hit 73
Initiative 65
Meat 20-30
Phylum pirate
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
leotarrrd, pirate pelvis, stuffed shoulder parrot
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
swarthy pirate You're fighting a swarthy pirate

This is a very swarthy pirate. His swart knows no bounds. That's actually what swarthy means: full of swart. Seriously. Look it up.

Hit Message(s):

He swarthily swarts you right in the <kidney>. Yeow! Ouch! Ouch!

He headbutts you and scratches you with his swarthy whiskers. Ugh! Ouch!

He calls you a scurvy swab. It really hurts your feelings. Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He arrrbitrarily buckles half of your swashes. At least the other half are safely unbuckled. Ow! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He leaps up, grabs a rope, swings from the yarrrrdarrrm, and slams his feet into your head. That's got to be the best pirate you've ever seen. Ouch! Ooh! Ugh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to swarthily swart you, but you subtly and surrepititiously dodge.

He tries to headbutt you, but you spin around and butthead him.

He calls you a scurvy swab, but you point out that you've been eating plenty of limes.

He arrrbitrarily decides not to attack this round. Ye scurvy swab.

Fumble Message:

He leaps up, grabs a rope, swings from the yarrrdarrrm, completely misses you, and falls flat on his swarthy face. He's got to be the worst pirate you've ever seen. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 20-30 Meat (average: 25, stdev: 2.42)*
Leotard.gifYou acquire an item: leotarrrd (10.5% chance)*
Pelvis.gifYou acquire an item: pirate pelvis (18.0% chance)*
Parrot.gifYou acquire an item: stuffed shoulder parrot (9.7% chance)*
You gain 15-16 <substat>.

Occurs at The Obligatory Pirate's Cove.


  • The critical and fumble messages are both references to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, where Norrington calls Jack Sparrow the worst pirate he's ever seen, and in a later scene Gilette calls him the best pirate he's ever seen.
  • The miss message about scurvy and limes is a reference to the disease scurvy which is a deficiency of vitamin C, something in which limes are rich.