Swamp hag

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Swamp hag
Monster ID 1344
Locations The Dark and Spooky Swamp, The Corpse Bog
Hit Points 40
Attack 35
Defense 28
Initiative 30
Meat 20-30
Phylum dude
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
moonberry wine cooler, witch wart
Manuel vial of swamp vapors
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
swamp hag You're fighting a swamp hag

You know what just occurred to me? It's been ages since I heard or read a mother-in-law joke. It used to be a staple of comedy -- particularly sit-coms and newspaper strips -- that one's mother-in-law is invariably a horrible, evil, smelly, ugly old woman. I can't even remember the last time I heard someone's mother-in-law referred to as the punchline of a joke, though.

So, for the sake of the preservation of historical joke forms, let's just say that you are currently being attacked by your mother-in-law.

Hit Message(s):

The swamp hag claws your elbow with her long filthy claws. Also, she teeth your <ankle> with her long filthy teeth. Oof!

The swamp hag casts a terrible curse on you, causing you to punch yourself in the face repeatedly. Oof!

The swamp hag demands to know why you never write, when you're going to give her a grandchild already, and what kind of life you think this is for her daughter. You start hitting yourself on the head to drown out her voice. Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

The swamp hag threatens to swallow your soul, and actually follows through. It hurts pretty bad! Oof! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

The swamp hag goes for a claw/claw/bite, but doesn't make her THAC0.

The swamp hag tries to cast a curse on you, but you dodge. Err... I'm not sure how that works, but why argue with success?

The swamp hag seems to be complaining about something, but you're too busy watching football to notice.

Fumble Message:

The hag spends some time cackling and ranting incoherently. You nod polietely, with no idea what she's talking about. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 20-30 Meat (average: 25, stdev: 2.42)*
Beerbottle.gifYou acquire an item: moonberry wine cooler (30% chance)*
Witchwart.gifYou acquire an item: witch wart (5-10% chance)*
Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of swamp vapors (15% chance)*
You gain 8.75 <substat>.

Occurs at The Dark and Spooky Swamp and The Corpse Bog.