Surprised and annoyed witch

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Surprised and annoyed witch
Monster ID 1596
Locations The Road to the White Citadel
Hit Points 32
Attack 36
Defense 32
Initiative 0
Meat 32-48
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
wand of pigification
Manuel Überraschthexengebräu
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
surprised and annoyed witch You're fighting a surprised and annoyed witch

This witch is more ticked than wicked, and I suppose that's understandable, considering you've just broken into her house. Honestly, how deep into the haunted and forsaken wilderness does a woman have to move before she can consort with the devil without constant interruption by adventurers and do-gooders and unlikely heroes that the fates have chosen for blah-de-blah?

They don't even read the "NO SOLICITING" sign on the door!

Hit Message(s):

She mutters a dark incantation under her breath and gives you a pretty unpleasant migraine.

She mutters under her breath. An owl flies by and craps on your head.

She shouts a magic word and turns your <calf> into a newt. It's pretty painful.

She throws a potion at you, and it melts through your <arse> like a knife through butter.

She tells you no man of woman born can harm you. Then, since she's not a man, she harms you.

She lets her cauldron boil and bubble, then douses you with boiling potion.

Critical Hit Message:

She draws a series of runes on the ground, then points to each one in turn. You get a sprained ankle, a dislocated knee, an aching hip, a cracked rib, and a stiff neck, in that order. Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

She mutters a dark incantation under her breath, but nothing happens. Maybe it was just a belch.

She mutters under her breath. She sounds crazy, but harmless.

She shouts a magic word at you, but it isn't "please", so nothing happens.

She throws a potion at you. It kind of smells like lavender.

She tells you no man of woman born can harm you, and offers you a discount on a "no c-section" clause.

She tries to let her cauldron boil and bubble, but can't stop watching it long enough for it to do so.

Fumble Message:

She gets a sudden burst of inspiration and stops to draw up plans for a house made entirely out of pudding, which would stomp around on sasquatch legs. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

With the witch taken care of, you pick up her wand and flip a little switch on the side of it from "pig" to "regular". You then turn all of your familiars back to normal and put the wand in your pack. After all, you never know when a wand that turns dudes into pigs might come in handy. It'd be a pretty good party trick, if nothing else.

Meat.gifYou gain 32-48 Meat (average: 40, stdev: 3.65)*
Wand.gifYou acquire an item: wand of pigification (% chance)*

Occurs at The Road to the White Citadel when using witch's spare house key to unlock the witch's house.

References

  • The "No man of woman born can harm you" is a reference to Macbeth's prophecy.