Striking Middle-Management Elf

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Striking Middle-Management Elf
Monster ID 319
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2005)
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Striking Middle-Management Elf You're fighting a Striking Middle-Management Elf

This elf is stuck between the factory workers and the upper-management elves. He has to spend all day in a festive red-and-green cubicle, pushing paperwork around and making sure everyone properly fills out their Toy Production Statistic reports. He's doughy around the middle, but looks to have enough inner rage to beat you down.

Hit Message(s):

"Hey, could you just take this fist in your <nipple>? Yeah... that'd be great..." Eek! Eek! Ouch! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

"Yeah, if you could stand still and let me smack you in the <foot>, that'd be great..." Oof! Argh! Ow!

"Yeah, could you go ahead and let me kick you in the <arm>? Yeah... that's great..." Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Ugh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

"Hey, did you just go ahead and dodge my punch? That's... not okay."

"Okay, so, yeah... I tried to hit you, and you dodged. Didn't you get the memo about our new dodging policy?"

"Did you go ahead and dodge my kick? Let me get you a copy of that memo about letting me kick you."


After Combat

Felt.gifYou acquire an item: felt (10.5% chance)*
Googlyeye.gifYou acquire an item: googly eye (10.3% chance)*
String.gifYou acquire an item: length of string (9.7% chance)*
Dough.gifYou acquire an item: stuffing (10.6% chance)*
Woodwheel.gifYou acquire an item: toy wheel (11.6% chance)*
Tofu.gifYou acquire an item: wooden block (11.4% chance)*

Occurred at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2005) (without Unionize The Elves sign equipped).

References

  • The hit and miss messages make reference to the character of Bill Lumbergh in the 1999 comedy Office Space, played by Gary Cole. Also, the "Toy Production Statistic reports" are a reference to the generically named "TPS reports" in the same movie.