Stench bugbear
| Stench bugbear | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1395 |
| Locations | Dreadsylvanian Woods |
| Hit Points | 800 |
| Attack | 500 |
| Defense | 500 |
| Initiative | 25 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | beast |
| Elements | stench |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Friend of Garlic BreathYou see a set of tracks in the forest path ahead of you. The grass around the tracks is all wilted and blackened, and the tracks themselves are full of pure garbage-slime decomposed plant matter. "What hideous, malodorous, grotesque, unloved creature did this?" you ask aloud.
"Well, now you've gone and hurt my feelings," a bugbear hisses, and jumps out from behind a tree to attack.
Hit Message(s):
She bites you with one decaying tooth. Somehow, the bite is even stinkier than her bark. Ouch! Ooh! Eek! (stench damage)
She belches right in your face with breath that could peel wallpaper on a wall that's not wallpapered. Ow! Oof! Eek! (stench damage)
She spits foul bugbear spit on you. It smells even worse than her breath. Ow! Ooh! Ow! (stench damage)
She scratches you with a stinky claw. Your blood turns green as it encounters the lingering stench. Eek! Ouch! Eek! (stench damage)
She slashes her own forearm and drips green, foul-smelling blood on you. Argh! Ow! Ouch! (stench damage)
She releases a cloud of suffocating gas, and doesn't even bother to blame it on the dog. Eek! Ugh! Argh! Ouch!
She grabs you up in a bugbearhug, squeezing your ribs while her horrible stench assaults your nose. Then she burps garlic breath right in your face, as kind of the icing on the poo cake. Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ow! Oof! (stench damage)
She tries to scratch you with a stinky claw, but you avoid the scratch stench fever.
She slashes her own forearm and tries to drip green, foul-smelling blood on you, but you point out how crazy unsanitary that is.
She tries to spit on you, but you aren't taking that spit from anyone.
She tries to bite you with a decaying tooth, but it's too rotten to break your skin.
She tries to belch in your face, but you remind her to mind her manners.
She tries to belch in your face, but notices her breath is merely eye-watering instead of nauseating, and stops to munch some Limburger cheese and a couple of raw cloves of garlic. (FUMBLE!)
She scratches you with a stinky claw. Your blood turns green as it encounters the lingering stench. (stench damage)
The bugbear licks you with its fetid tongue. (stench damage)
The bugbear lifts its arms and blasts you with eye-watering bugbear body odor. (stench damage)
The bugbear releases a cloud of toxic gas. Bugbears subsist on hard-boiled eggs and boiled cabbage in the wild. (stench damage)
The bugbear cuts its own arm with a talon, and a jet of blood spurts onto you. Faugh! Even this thing's blood smells bad! (stench damage)
The bugbear grabs you with one foul set of talons. They smell like bad meat or good cheese. (stench damage)
The bugbear hisses at you, spritzing you with foul-smelling toxic spit. (stench damage)
The bugbear roars at you, which isn't bad, but its breath is deadly. (stench damage)
The bugbear punches you with a fetid fist, leaving a bruise and the stench of rotten garbage. (stench damage)
 | You acquire an item: stinkwater (.1% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Freddy Kruegerand |
 | You acquire an item: Dreadsylvanian Almanac page |
Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Woods
Notes
- This monster cannot be copied.
- The Freddy Kruegerand and Dreadsylvanian Almanac page drops are not affected by item drop modifiers. They are similar to the beer lens drop and drops from crates. In particular, they can still drop after being stomped.
- If any elements are banished, each round of combat with a stench Dreadsylvanian take damage with a message:
- You inhale deeply to acclimate yourself to the stink, but end up gagging and retching.
- Uggh, it smells like Death farted in here.
- You know how if you smell something bad for long enough, your brain adjusts and you kind of stop smelling it? That's not happening here.
- Boy does it stink in here.
- Remember how good a freshly-baked loaf of bread smells? No, you don't, because you've been marinating in this stink too long.
- Something smells terrible. You sniff your armpits, wondering if it's you.
- What is that smell? Did something die in here? Like, recently?
- You glance around, trying to identify the source of that awful stink.
- You breathe through your mouth, trying to avoid smelling whatever you're smelling.
 | You lose Y hit points. (stench damage) |
 | You acquire an effect: Nauseated (duration: N+1 Adventures) |
- The name, image, and introduction text of this monster are all randomly selected:
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A nauseating, horrible smell seeps from the very earth in this part of the forest. It smells like rotten eggs, bad meat, and good cheese, with a healthy soupçon of excrement mixed in. You're so distracted trying to block out the stench that you don't notice the reeking bugbear causing it until she's right on top of you. | ||
| You see a huge, closed flower at the side of the path, its bud almost as tall as you are. As you get nearer it opens, releasing the most hideous odor to ever pummel your nostrils. It smells like dead things, and even deader things, and you're not sure whether to throw up or run away or run away while throwing up to save time.
You flee the corpse orchid, only to run smack into a stench bugbear! She smells so bad that you try to make a break for it and go back to the death flower, but she blocks your way. | ||
| The path ahead is crossed by a little babbling brook. You walk up to it and plunge your arms in, splashing water on your face to refresh yourself. But the second splash you make, the water smells awful. You wipe it off your face, gagging, and look upstream. The water's turning green and foul because a reeking bugbear is taking her morning toilette (and toilet) in the stream! Gross! You decide to put an end to her nastiness tout suite. | ||
| Man, something must have died in this part of the forest. And then something must have eaten that thing long after it died, and then died itself and decomposed. It doesn't smell very nice, is what I'm trying to say.
Then the stinkiest bugbear you've ever seen--er, smelled--steps out from behind a tree, and you're less worried about your nose and more worried about surviving. | ||
| You step into a clearing and see a bugbear sitting in the reeking corpse of a deer that has to have been dead for at least a week. "Come on in!" she hisses, beckoning with a filthy paw. "There's plenty for both of us!"
"That's disgusting!" you shout. "That meat could have bought so much stuff in the demon market, and you've let it spoil!" "Your MOM'S disgusting!" the bugbear shouts, and attacks. | ||
| You smell a stench like a hundred hippies on the last day of a week-long drum circle, with a dash of sewage and decomposing meat mixed in. It's the worst thing you've ever smelled, and even though you smelt it, you're pretty sure you haven't dealt it.
A stinking bugbear waddles out from behind a tree, grinning. "Ooops," she hisses, "shouldn't have eaten all that sauerkraut." | ||
| Your eyes start to water and your nostrils burn as an unholy stench punches your nostrils in the gut. You didn't even know your nostrils had guts, but it turns out they do. You don't know whether to throw up, black out, or fight the reeking bugbear that just stepped in front of you.
I'd suggest the latter. | ||
| This part of the forest is quiet. A little. . . too quiet. There aren't any birds singing, any bees buzzing, or any otters ottering. What noise do otters make, anyway? Never mind.
You see a bird flying your direction, but as soon as it gets overhead it drops like a stone, landing dead at your feet. You look down and notice you're walking through a crunchy layer of dead flies and assorted other bugs. Just as you wonder what could have possibly killed all this fauna, a god-awful stench assaults your nostrils. It smells like a being made entirely of poop pooped, then that poop died and decomposed. You try to breathe through your mouth, but then you just taste that horrible odor. It's almost a relief when the source of the smell, the most fetid bugbear imaginable, leaps out at you. | ||
| A cow pie comes flying through the air straight at you. You leap to the side, then have to spin to avoid another pie coming in low. You duck under a third pie, and shout, "Dangit! Are you going to fight me, or just sling crap?"
A stinky bugbear walks into the clearing and says, "can't it be both?" | ||
| Your path is interrupted by a putrid, festering swamp. Bubbles lazily grow gigantic and pop on the surface, releasing whiffs of gym-sock-corpse odor. You turn to find a way around the mess, but a bugbear steps out of the swamp and grins at you. "If you kiss me, I'll turn you into the Mayor," she says.
"Really?" you ask. "Mayor of the Bog of Stench!" she replies, and runs at you. | ||
| A reeking bugbear steps out from behind a tree, holding a loaded skunk in each paw, their business ends pointed directly at you. "Say cheeeese," she hisses.
"Not today," you inelegantly quip. | ||
| You accidentally break wind as you're walking down the forest trail. "Oops, pardon me," you say to the trees and flowers.
"Really? Is that all you can do? Man, you're a rank amateur at being rank!" a bugbear says, hopping down from a tree and nearly knocking you over with her odor. "Let me show you how it's done," she hisses. | ||
| You see a set of footprints leading to a nearby tree. The grass beneath them is blackened, and the flowers growing nearby are all wilted. You can see the stench coming off them in green waves, like a cartoon come to life. You resolve not to look behind the tree the footprints lead to, and start to walk away, but a stinking bugbear (like, literally stinking, not the "we don't need no stinking badges" kind of stinking) leaps from the tree and lands in front of you. | ||
References
- Corpse flowers smell like rotting flesh.
- The Demon Market was the precursor to the General Store in town.
- To rule over The Bog of Eternal Stench is a fate worse-smelling than death, and a threat from Jim Henson's Labyrinth.
