Stella, the Turtle Poacher (Inner Sanctum)

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Stella, the Turtle Poacher
Monster ID 22
Locations Inner Sanctum (for Turtle Tamers)
Hit Points 30
Attack 27
Defense 24
No-Hit 37
Initiative 60
Meat 28-42
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
Elder Turtle Shell
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Stella, the Turtle Poacher You're fighting Stella, the Turtle Poacher

You step into the second cavern room, and are confronted by Stella, the Turtle Poacher.

They speak of her in hushed tones in the halls of the Brotherhood of the Smackdown -- the coldly beautiful, mysterious Turtle Tamer who went rogue, and now instead of taming turtles, she hunts them -- not only for profit, but also for cruel sport. And tasty soup.

"Another pathetic Turtle Tamer come to spoil my fun?" she sneers at you. "Just try it, turtle-lover."

"Lady, you're goin' down," you growl.

Hit Message(s):

She pulls out her turtle-killing axe and whacks you with it. Ooh! Oof! Ow!

She poaches you in the pouch. Ouch! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

She headbutts you like a loggerhead turtle. Ow! Argh! Argh!

She puts on some gloves and boxes you like a box turtle. Then the gloves come off... Ouch! Argh! Ooh!

She snaps at you with all the fierceness and tenacity of the snapping turtle. Ow! Ooh! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

She pops you into her poaching pot. It's alliteratively painful! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

She tries to whack you with her turtle-killing axe. Good thing you're not a turtle.

She tries to poach you, but you reproach her.

She tries to headbutt you like a loggerhead turtle, but your desire not to be headbutted leaves the two of you at loggerheads.

She tries to box you like a box turtle, but you think outside the box.

She snaps at you with all the fierceness and tenacity of the snapping turtle. Thankfully, she does it with the speed of a turtle as well.

Fumble Message:

She hurls her fork and sickle at you, but you dodge both and stand triumphantly unsickleforked. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

  • Upon being defeated:

Your final blow knocks Stella backward, and she collapses against the wall, panting heavily, her hair askew (and probably her bodice ripped a bit too, but don't get all excited, right? We're going for violence here, not bow-chicka-bow-wow.)

"Meddlers!" she spits at you. "Stupid goody-goodies and your stupid turtles, always out to ruin my fun! What are a couple slimy amphibians to you, anyway?"

"I'll have you know the turtle is a fine and noble breed of..."

"Shut it, <Boy/Girl> Scout. It was a rhetorical question." And with that, she stalks off in a huff.

Hey, what's that on the floor?

Meat.gifYou gain 30-37 Meat
Turtlehat.gifYou acquire an item: Elder Turtle Shell (100% chance)*
You gain 3 <substat>.

Occurs at The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave as the Turtle Tamer nemesis.

Notes

  • Once you have defeated Stella, this adventure will no longer reoccur (becomes a one time adventure).
  • Before the Nemesis quest revamp, the monster description read as follows:
    • This is Stella, the turtle poacher. She both illegally hunts turtles and prepares them by boiling them in water, making her a double-poacher. She is also guilty of making "poach" not look like a word any more.
  • This monster cannot be copied.

References

  • The part in the defeat message about her bodice ripping refers to romance novels, often referred to as bodice-rippers.