You're fighting Horrorjaw, Gasher of Squirrels
You happen upon a werewolf undergoing the transformation from a person, and it's so fascinating you have to stop and watch. It's amazing how the hair grows out of the skin, and the fingers and toes get longer, and the eyes go all...black and dead...and the muzzle full of razor-sharp teeth springs out...and...the way it starts to chase you, running on legs that are still bubbling and changing...
Critical Hit Message:
He pokes his tongue out of one of his eye sockets. That's just wrong, man. Ow! Ow! Oof! (spooky damage)
He howls at the moon, a sound so otherworldly and tragic that it both stops and breaks your heart. Ugh! Ouch! Ugh! (spooky damage)
He pops off his head and drop-kicks it at you. It doesn't hurt, but it freaks you out. Ow! Eek! Ugh! (spooky damage)
He roars at you, his jaw stretching unnaturally wide, scaring at least two years off of your life. Ouch! Oof! Eek! (spooky damage)
He clacks his razor-sharp teeth at you. My, what big teeth he has! All the better to scare the pants off you. Argh! Eek! Argh! (spooky damage)
He runs the tip of one razor-sharp claw underneath your chin. He doesn't hurt you physically, but he sure freaks you out. Ugh! Oof! Ooh! (spooky damage)
He pulls you in close, huffing and puffing as he whispers dire secrets of the world that exists just behind the paper-thin reality we believe is so solid. It freaks you out on so many levels. Oof! Ouch! Ooh! (spooky damage)
He clacks his teeth at you, so you toss him a toothbrush.
He howls at the moon, but you suggest it would be more METAL if he barked at the moon instead.
He pops off his head and recites the gravedigger's speech from Hamlet.
He runs the tip of a claw down your ribs, which tickles like nobody's business.
He tries to roar at you, but you ask him if he's going to bark all day or if he's going to bite.
He pokes his tongue out of one of his eye sockets. You tell him you see what he's saying.
He tries to do a piercing banshee-esque shriek, but strains a vocal cord and has to stop to have some lemon tea. (FUMBLE!)
Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Woods
|You see an unnatural silhouette in the mist ahead of you. It looks like a wolf walking on two legs--so your basic werewolf--but the arms and legs are elongated and double-jointed, and they never stop twitching. It stutter-steps to you, revealing a muzzle with flesh peeling off of it. It licks its fangs with a forked tongue and moves in on you.
|You see a pair of glowing red eyes in the underbrush. You freeze and back away from them slowly...and step on the paw of a lurking werewolf. He snarls and roars at you, curdling your blood, as the harmless squirrel you were backing away from vanishes into the night.
|A werewolf slowly glides out of the shadows in front of you, skeletal and misproportioned. He smiles a mouth full of razor-sharp fangs, then holds up a claw and lets the wind whistle through it. "Run," he whispers, then begins to laugh.
|A figure rises out of the shadows in front of you. You catch a glimpse of bright red hair, a red nose, and huge shoes--dear god, it's a clown! AIEEEE!
Then the figure reaches up, rips away the hair, the nose, and the shoes, and there's a werewolf underneath. Whew, what a relief.
On the other hand, wereclown! AIEEEEEEEE!
|A half-naked man, clad only in torn remnants of clothing, drags himself down the path toward you. "Please help me--" he says, reaching out to you.
"Woah, what happened to you?" you ask. "You look like you got attacked by a werewolf!"
"No--I'm just about to turn into one, and I'm very, very hungrrrrrrrrrrrr" the man says, as his flesh begins to bubble, his mouth elongating into a muzzle.
|A werewolf jumps out of the bushes in front of you, snarling and slavering.
"Oh, wow, another werewolf," you say, "I'm so totally terrified."
Then you notice that this werewolf has two big black buttons sewn on where its eyes should be, and then your blood starts to curdle.
|A werewolf drops out of a tree in front of you, startling you but not really scaring you. I mean, you see these guys all the time.
Then he opens his mouth to howl, and inside his mouth is another tiny werewolf head with a mouth full of tiny, razor-sharp fangs. That actually does freak you out quite a bit.
|The wind whistles eerily through the trees, keening and moaning, sounding almost human. You swear you hear everything from cries for help to obscene blasphemy in that unearthly noise. It builds and builds to a fever pitch, then abruptly cuts off.
A werewolf glides out from behind a tree, its huge claws barely touching the ground. "How sweet. Fresh meat," it says, in a voice deep and guttural.
|You step into a section of the forest where the shadows are so deep and thick that you can barely see your hand in front of your face. Squinting into the gloom, you think you spot a werewolf a few feet off of the path, standing perfectly still with his back to you. Maybe you can sneak by...
As you pass, the werewolf's head rotates 180 degrees, grinding and snapping. Glowing red eyes pierce you as he grins a predator's grin.
|A werewolf wearing a ridiculous-looking mask steps out in front of you and snarls.
"Wow, where'd you get that thing? Is that rubber?" you ask.
"It's the face of the last guy who asked me a dumb question," the werewolf says, and now that you get a closer look, he's telling the truth. Uh-oh.
|You walk into a little clearing in the woods. It's eerily quiet in here--no birds chirping, no insects buzzing, no foghorns blaring. You see a bunch of little crosses sticking out of the ground, with childlike writing scrawled on them. They say things like, "Sparky. Gud Dog," and "Lola Best Hamstar," and "Phydeaux Good Werewolf." Why, this must be a pet cemetery! But what kind of kid has a pet werew--
A rotting werewolf paw bursts out of the ground in front of you, and a massive werewolf hauls himself out of the grave. "Uh...play dead?" you squeak, as he stalks towards you.
|The shadows seem to deepen in this part of the woods, becoming an absolute black that hurts your eyes as they strain to see what horrors are contained therein. A pair of blood-red eyes appears under a bush in front of you, gleaming with malice. Then they disappear. Whew.
Then a claw taps you on the shoulder. You spin around to see a werewolf inches from you, maggots writhing in a decomposing muzzle. He smiles and whispers, "boo."
|There's a blood-curdling howl from the woods nearby. You stop and spin around frantically, trying to tell which direction it came in so you can run the other way. You stop when a paw falls on your shoulder, and hot breath steams in your ear, an inhuman voice growling, "scream for me."
- The intro message regarding black buttons sewn on for eyes may be a reference to Coraline.