Spider-goblin conspirator

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Spider-goblin conspirator
Monster ID 1285
Locations The Gourd!
Hit Points 35
Attack 32
Defense 26
No-Hit 42
Initiative 50
Meat 20-30
Phylum horror
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, thorax, abdomen
Drops
Knob Goblin firecracker, spider web
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
spider-goblin conspirator You're fighting a spider-goblin conspirator

You stand ready to intercept the goblin conspirator that's riding toward you on the back of one of the spiders, until you realize -- oh my Gourd -- the goblin isn't riding the spider, but rather his torso is actually growing out of the spider's back, the result of disturbing surgical grafts or perhaps some horrible genetic experiment.

As the spider screeches and hisses at you, the screaming goblin spins around a black-bladed polearm that looks like what you'd end up with if, for some reason, the FBI decided it needed official government-issue halberds.

Now you aren't so sure about this whole 'intercepting' thing.

Hit Message(s):

The spider grabs you and holds you up so the goblin has an easier shot at you. Yay, teamwork! And by 'yay' I mean 'ow'! Ugh! Argh!

The goblin clocks you with the butt of his halberd. While you're stunned, the spider takes the opportunity to fill your <bung> with venom. Oof! Ooh!

The spider ducks so that the goblin can swing his halberd over its head at you. Seems like they've practiced this move. Ooh! Ugh!

The goblin claps his hands while the spider does an energetic dance on your spine. Ow! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

The spider slams you to the ground with its forelegs, holding you down while its goblin half pokes at you with his halberd. Okay, well, more 'stab' than 'poke' really. Ooh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

The spider tries to trample you, but you manage to dodge out of the way. This leads to an argument between the spider and goblin.

You run in circles around the spider-goblin for a bit, so that it/they can't get a good swing at you. Everyone involved gets dizzy.

The goblin swings his halberd at you, accidentally clocking the spider in the side of the head with the pole.

The goblin laughs at the spider's failed attempts to bite you, until the spider reaches up and smacks it in the head.

Fumble Message:

The goblin gets the butt of his halberd tangled up in the spider's legs, and they stop to sort things out and yell at each other for a bit. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 20-30 Meat (average: 25, stdev: 2.42)*
Firecrack.gifYou acquire an item: Knob Goblin firecracker (??% chance)*
Web.gifYou acquire an item: spider web (??% chance)*
Collarbone.gifYou acquire an item: goblin collarbone (??% chance)*

Occurs at The Gourd!.

Notes