Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi

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How much damage does returning the Earworm deal? Any at all?


Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi
Monster ID 893
Locations A Volcanic Cave
Hit Points 1000
Attack 200
Defense 180
No-Hit 210
Initiative 100
Meat None
Phylum demon
Elements None
Resistance (soft damage cap?)
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso, sombrero
Drops
La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez, Instant Karma, heart of the volcano
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi You're fighting Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi

The rocky island shudders beneath your feet as a tremendous rumbling shakes the cavern. An explosion of lava bursts from the fiery lake, and you cover your face to protect yourself from flying droplets of red-hot magma.

Dramatic organ music fills the air as you slowly lower your hands to witness a monstrosity rise from the molten rock. Wreathed in flames, the demonic horror that once was Somerset Lopez levitates into the air, his skin fiery red, his guitarrón hovering beside him. The fanged maw that used to be Lopez's face opens in a wordless howl of pain and fury, and a burning bloodshot eye opens on the crown of the thorn-covered sombrero. The eye revolves madly for a moment, then focuses on you.

Screaming incomprehensibly, he swoops down at you, knocking you backwards. You hit the stone altar heavily and sit, dazed, as the demonic mariachi prepares to charge you again.

There is a blinding flash of light, and a chorus of heavenly voices rises in counterpoint to the ominous organ music. You watch, mystified, as your Squeezebox of the Ages transforms before your eyes, becoming an ancient black trikitixa, the ebony buttons engraved with ancient runes of power. As the light fades, the accordion rises into the air, pulling you to your feet.

Lopez screeches again, and hisses "¡Es el fin de nuestra batalla, ladrón del acordión! ¡Es la hora de su muerte!"

Hit Message(s):

Lopez laughs as his guitarrón swoops toward you and showers you with red-hot liquid lead. Ooh! Ouch! Ouch!

Lopez slashes you painfully with long, wickedly sharp claws. You begin to miss the old days, when Accordion Thieves and Mariachis just beat each other up and stole their pants. Eek! Ouch! Ugh!

Lopez swoops down on you above[sic], cutting a deep gash in your <shins> with his horrific sombrero. Ow! Ouch! Oof!

Lopez whirls toward you, slashing deep cuts across your chest with the razor-sharp thorns on his sombrero. Ow! Ooh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

Lopez points at you, and his scorched and blackened guitarrón turns and fires of its own accord. You dive out of the way, but the bullets home in on you like angry lead wasps. Argh! Eek! Ow! Oof! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

Lopez whirls toward you; there is a tearing noise as his razor-sharp sombrero snags your clothing and you leap out of the way.

Lopez swoops down on you from above; sparks fly as you desperately block his sombrero with your accordion.

The demonic mariachi's laughter cuts the air like a rusty saw as he contemplates your demise.

A hot breeze blows on the back of your neck as you duck out of the way of Lopez's taloned hands.

Fumble Message:

Lopez's guitarrón swoops toward you and sprays the area with red-hot liquid lead. Fortunately, you had the presence of mind to get out of the way when it pointed at you. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

Somerset Lopez's face opens wide, and he screeches a terrible cacophony filled with harsh, jagged notes, yet with an oddly catchy melody. You stagger back, gasping for breath, and notice your toes tapping of their own accord. Oh god -- that catchy melody! You've caught it! The tune echoes through your skull over and over... and then you feel it. Them. Crawling. Wriggling. In your head! In your ears! Earworms! He's given you EARWORMS!

Larva.gifYou acquire an effect: Earworm
(duration: 1 Adventure)

After Combat

Victory text:

You win the fight!

"No! Nunca!" Lopez shouts furiously. "I will not be defeated! ¡Nunca derrotarán al mariachi!" With one final, desperate leap, he throws himself at the stone altar. The ancient glyphs flare with a dazzling white light, and the ancient shrine explodes.

You are thrown head over heels, and land on your back on one of the floating stepping-stones. Momentarily stunned, you can only watch as the entire mountain begins to shake. Huge boulders fall from the ceiling, sending gouts of lava spraying out of the lake. You recover your wits just enough to get to your feet and scramble for the tunnel entrance. You risk a quick look backwards -- the central island has collapsed into the magma, and Somerset Lopez is nowhere to be seen.

You make your way through the cavern tunnels as quickly as you can, with the ground shaking under your feet and a wave of molten rock hot on your heels (literally). The hacienda is full of bandits, but in their confusion and panic they hardly notice you, and you race out of the front door just ahead of the rockslide that buries the mansion forever. Looking up, you see smoke pouring out of the top of the volcano, but it and the earthquake soon subside -- looks like there's not going to be a full-scale eruption, luckily. Fleeing the underground tunnels was one thing, but you wouldn't have bet much on your chances of getting off this island alive if the entire thing had exploded.

Bruised and battered, you make your way past the bandits' barracks, where the remaining bandits seem to be arguing over which antiques should be taken with them in the escape boats. They too largely ignore you, and you collapse on the beach near your rowboat, panting for breath.
Skullbuckle.gifYou acquire an item: La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez

And if you did not skip the lava maze:

Karma.gifYou acquire an item: Instant Karma
Heartomtn.gifYou acquire an item: heart of the volcano

Occurs at The Nemesis' Lair.

Notes

You lose. As you slink away, dejected and defeated, your Epic Weapon reverts to its original form in a puff of failure.
  • The Earworm effect does damage approximately equal to 20% of your max HP. It can be removed by using the Sing skill, with the message:
There's only one cure for earworms: to cancel them out with something even worse. You start pumping your accordion, and loudly sing a mashup of "Feliz Navidad" and "The Fishhead Song".
Fish heads, fish heads a merry Christmas,
I wanna wish-a you a roly-poly fish heads,
I wanna fish heads a merry Christmas, from the bottom of eat them up, yum!
The two most virulent songs known to man, they easily drive the earworms from your head, neatly canceling each other out in the process and leaving your mind clear. Meanwhile, the worms go berserk, and squealing in pain and frustration they swarm back at their creator, dealing <X/no damage> to the foul demon.
  • This monster cannot be copied.
  • This monster has 40% elemental resistance.

References