Sloppy Seconds Sundae
|Sloppy Seconds Sundae|
|Locations||Sloppy Seconds Diner|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Monster Parts||cherry, dish, face|
A dessert in a giant sundae dish flexes its soda-straw legs and leaps at you, intent on turning itself into a sundae, bloody sundae.
You hear skittering in the ventilation ducts above you, and leap backwards just in time to avoid getting hit by a gigantic sundae dish full of unidentifiable gunk as it crashes through the ceiling tiles.
"Time to receive your just desserts!" it burbles, and you realize you must destroy it, especially for making that horrible pun.
You walk warily through the diner, nerves twanging, looking for the next potential threat.
"I can never remember," a voice mutters by your ankles, "does 'dessert' have one 's' or two?"
"Two," you respond automatically. Then you realize what you just heard, and look down to see a sundae dish full of sentient muck about to leap at your face.
You browse the dessert menu, your teeth twinging as you read the ingredients. "Man, these desserts are incredibly sweet," you mutter.
"We'll see about that," a voice says behind you. You spin around and see a sundae dish full of unrecognizable gick, and it's skittering at you on dessert-spoon legs.
You wander behind the counter, and see a giant dessert in a sundae dish perched up in the pass-through from the kitchen. It's a dessert that will never be delivered to its intended table, which strikes you as a little sad.
The next thing that tries to strike you, though, is the dessert itself--it's sentient, mobile, and not pleased to see you.
It grabs a can of spray whipped cream and hoses you down with it. It's chilly. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
It spits a few rock-hard frozen maraschino cherries at you, leaving frostbitten dents in your kidney. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
It spits super-chilled chocolate chips at you. They're so hard they tear through your flesh and freeze your organs. And that is why you don't put damn chocolate chips in ice cream! Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
It squirts hot fudge at you. Ugh! Ooh! Ow! (hot damage)
It tosses a magically-chilled dessert spoon at you. It sticks onto your tongue, and it hurts like the dickens when you pull it off. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
It grabs a pair of ice-cream scoops with its pseudopods, then does its level best to take big scoops out of you. It only partially succeeds, but partially is good enough in this instance. Or, y'know, bad enough. Ow! Ouch! Ow!
It tries to spray whipped cream on you, but you point out you're neither a delicious dessert nor a drunken co-ed.
It grabs an ice-cream scoop and tries to scoop itself on you, but you kick the scoop away.
It spits a few rock-hard frozen maraschino cherries at you, but you dodge.
It spits super-chilled chocolate chips at you, but you're chill enough to dodge.
It squirts hot fudge at you, but you get the fudge away from it.
It tosses a dessert spoon at you, but you say you don't know it well enough to spoon.
It remembers that it forgot the whipped cream and the cherry on top, and hops over to the dessert bar to fully outfit itself before the rest of the fight. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: possessed sugar cube (15% chance)*|
Occurs at Sloppy Seconds Diner.
- This monster scales to your stats plus 5 (total minimum 10, maximum 11111?), plus +ML.
- This monster's name is randomized.
- For some reason, the sugar cube cannot be hugpocketed but CAN be forced to drop via Saber forcing
- The first description refers to the song "Sunday, bloody Sunday" by U2.