Sloppy Seconds Cocktail

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Sloppy Seconds Cocktail
Monster ID 1567
Locations Sloppy Seconds Diner
Hit Points 75% of Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+5
Defense Player's Muscle+5
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum weird
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts garnish, glass
bottle of rum, bottle of vodka, bottle of tequila
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Sloppy Seconds Cocktail You're fighting a Double-Rum Extra-Strawberry Mudslide

You almost trip over a huge booze glass on the ground. The thing is almost the size of an aquarium, and it's filled with gelatinous muck. "Ugh! That looks disgusting!" you say, involuntarily.

"You're no prize yourself," the drink mutters, and launches a drinking straw at your eye.


You hear creaking from the ceiling panels overhead, and look up, puzzled. Then a burbling, grotesque voice says, "time to get your drink on!" A big glass bowl full of booze and malice drops through the ceiling, narrowly missing you on the way down. It lands on spiny drinking-straw legs and skitters toward you.


You pass a little too close to the counter, and one of the hurricane glasses full of fruit-and-rum-based foulness leaps from behind it, skittering at you on tiny spiny legs as it attempts to drink you through its straw.


You sense something go whizzing past your nose and spin around to see a tiny glass cup shatter against the far wall. "What the crap was that?" you say, your heart racing. You turn back to see a huge booze glass full of a burbling, swirling liquid, with two moldy strawberries for eyes.

"That was a warning shot," it says, and tries to slap you with a pseudopod.

Hit Message(s):

It extrudes a pseudopod and slaps you wetly across the butt. Gross, man. Ouch! Ugh! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

It launches a drinking straw at your eye. You dodge, but the straw lands in your mouth instead, filling it with nasty cocktail. Ouch! Argh! Argh! (sleaze damage)

It launches some ancient, rotting maraschino cherries at you. They smack unpleasantly against your cheeks and mouth. And you thought those things were gross when they were fresh... Ow! Ugh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

It spits a wad of curdled whipped cream at you. It collides wetly with your face. Sick, dude. Eek! Ugh! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It leaps into the air, extrudes a pseudopod to swing from the overhead lighting, and drops onto your head with a crash. That hurts plenty, but then it tips over and pours itself into your mouth, filling your throat with gross novelty cocktail.

Miss Message(s):

It spits a wad of curdled whipped cream at you, but your blood is uncurdled enough that you can still dodge.

It launches a straw at you, but you avoid grasping at it.

It tries to slap you with a pseudopod, but you're not a pod person.

It launches some ancient, rotting maraschino cherries at your temple, but you shirley dodge.

Fumble Message:

It tries to light itself on fire for hot attacks, but doesn't have high enough proof to stay lit. It hops behind the bar to look for some 151-rum or something to stiffen itself with. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

  • If on the appropriate quest from Taco Dan:
You mop up some of the muck your foe left behind and stick it in your cocktail sauce bottle. It'd be pretty grisly, except your opponent was mostly fruit juice and rum.
You mop up some squeezings from your defeated foe and put them in your cocktail sauce bottle.
You suck up some of your foe's life-essence with your cocktail sauce bottle.
Bottle.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of vodka (15% chance)*
Bottle.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of rum (15% chance)*
Bottle.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of tequila (15% chance)*

Occurs at Sloppy Seconds Diner.


  • This monster scales to your stats plus 5 (total minimum 10, maximum 11111?), plus +ML.