Slime Hand

Slime Hand
Monster ID	791
Locations	The Slime Tube
Hit Points	200
Attack	100
Defense	100
No-Hit	110
Initiative	55
Meat	None
Phylum	slime
Elements	slime
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	blob, pseudopod
Drops tiny slimy cyst, slimy sweetbreads, slimy fermented bile bladder
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Slime Hand

As you slide down the tube, you feel icy fear grip you. Wait, no, that's just a hand-shaped Slime protuberance. You shake it off of you and prepare to beat it down.

or

You slide down the tube, but you've only made it about halfway down when you're grabbed in midair by a giant slimy hand. You manage to wriggle free of it, but you're pretty irritated by the fact that it got your clothes all gooey, and you're itching for some revenge.

or

You have a coughing fit halfway down the tube, and a hand slaps your back. You turn and see it's a hand-shaped Slime protuberance, and prepare to repay its good deed with a beat-down.

or

Something happens and you're head-over-heels. That something being that the Slime formed a hand that tripped you up.

or

You hop down the tube and land ankle-deep in Slime. Part of the Slime forms a hand and tries to yank down your pants. Why, that rascal! You resolve to give it what-for.

or

You slide down the tube and start squelching around in the Slime, looking for something interesting to loot. The Slime seems to have taken issue with your intrusion, however, as it grows a massive hand and flicks you in the head with a thick, gooey finger. You're not going to take this sitting down, so you stand up, and prepare for a fight.

or

You slide down into the tube, and feel something tap you on the shoulder. You turn around to see who it is, and it turns out that it's the Slime, which seems to have grown a good-sized hand-like protuberance.

or

You slide down into the tube and land ass-over-teakettle in the Slime. Just as you're about to loot the teakettle, the Slime forms a hand and tries to smack you.

or

You slide headfirst into the Slime. It forms a hand and catches you, sets you down gently, and then flips you off.

or

You slide into the tube, and fall flat on your face in the slime. A helping hand picks you up and places you gingerly back on your feet. You turn around to thank it, but realize that it's actually a hand-shaped protuberance of the Slime, and decide to attack it instead.

Hit Message(s):

It plunges into the mass of Slime and pulls out a baseball. It then beans you in the kidney with it. Hey, batter-batter-batter. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ugh! (slime damage)

It plunges into the mass of Slime and pulls out a bowling ball. Then it decides not to spare you, but to strike you with it before you split. Argh! Eek! Eek! Ouch! (slime damage)

The Slime grabs a big, dripping ball of itself and hurls it at you like a boulder. Ooh! Argh! Argh! Argh! (slime damage)

It plays "rock, paper, scissors, crushed by a Slime-hand" with you. You lose. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Ow! (slime damage)

The Slime scratches your back for you. Unfortunately, it uses a bunch of swords it had within its mass to do so. Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Oof! (slime damage)

It gives you a thumbs-up. Since this is a family game, I won't say up where. Argh! Argh! Ooh! Argh! (slime damage)

The Slime holds its hand-like protuberance over your face, forcing you to breathe in its damp stink. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Oof! (stench damage)

It pulls a guitar from the mass of Slime and goes all Pete-Townshend on you. Wait, who? Ooh! Ow! Argh! Ooh! (slime damage)

The Slime flicks your bung with a massive finger. Ugh! Ouch! Eek! Argh! (slime damage)

The Slime balls up into a massive fist, knocks you down, and repeatedly punches the crap out of you. Ouch! Oof! Ugh! Ow! (slime damage)

It extends a very rude finger, then uses it to poke you in the leg. Ooh! Oof! Ouch! Ouch! (slime damage)

The Slime challenges you to a thumb war. Since its thumb is like fifty times the size of yours, it wins. Eek! Ooh! Oof! Oof! (slime damage)

The Slime punches you with a fist like your mother -- heavy, greasy, and unpleasant. Ow! Argh! Eek! Eek! (slime damage)

It extends two fingers in the universal symbol for peace. Then it pokes you in the eyes with them. Ow! Eek! Argh! Ow! (slime damage)

It plunges into the mass of Slime and emerges holding a tennis racket, with which it then hits you in the foot. 15-Love. Eek! Argh! Ugh! Eek! (slime damage)

The Slime tickles you in a way that makes you feel icky. Ow! Oof! Ow! (sleaze damage)

The Slime grabs you and gives you a full-body Indian burn. Argh! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! (hot damage)

The Slime waves back and forth in front of you, creating a ferociously chilly breeze. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

It shakes your hand. Well, it envelops your entire body in itself, then shakes vigorously. Oof! Eek! Eek! Ugh! (slime damage)

It plunges into the mass of Slime and emerges with a skull. Hey, that was your pal, Yorick! Freaky! Argh! Argh! Argh! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

The Slime tries to backhand you, but you complement the backhand with a swift leap out of the way.

It gives you a thumb-up. You feel vindicated.

It tries to play rock-paper-scissors with you, but you throw dynamite and win every time.

The Slime tries to slap you, but you slip between its fingers. Literally.

The Slime tries to grab you, but you decide that a Slime's reach should exceed its grasp, or what's a Heaven for?

It puts a hand out, but you remind it it needs a hand up.

It tries to backhand you, but you retain the upper hand.

The Slime tries to grab you, but you're more than a handful, and hence wasted.

The Slime tries to punch you, but you perform some sleight of hand, dodging the blow and leaving the hand slighted.

It balls up into a fist and tries to punch you, but ends up missing, and skinning its slimy knuckles on the side of the tube.

The Slime tries to grab you, but you wriggle out of its grip. And its gaffer.

Fumble Message:

not known

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After Combat

You acquire an item: slimy fermented bile bladder (4.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: slimy sweetbreads (4.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: tiny slimy cyst (4.8% chance)*

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Occurs at The Slime Tube with +101 to +300 Monster Level active.

Notes

• Possible avatars for the slime are:

• Names are randomly generated as "<adjective> Slime <noun>".
  • The adjective is one of: clutching, flailing, grasping, groping
  • The noun is one of: appendage, claw, groper, hand, mitt, paw

References

• "Something happens and you're head-over-heels" are lyrics from the Tears for Fears song "Head over Heels".
• The "...you decide that a Slime's reach should exceed its grasp, or what's a Heaven for?" message references a Robert Browning quotation.
• The "Hey, that was your pal, Yorick!" message is an homage to Shakespeare's Hamlet.
• Grip and gaffer are both film-industry job titles.