Slime

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Slime
Monster ID	791
Locations	The Slime Tube
Hit Points	200
Attack	100
Defense	90
No-Hit	110
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	slime
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	blob, pseudopod
Drops slimy sweetbreads, slimy fermented bile bladder, tiny slimy cyst, wad of slimy rags
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Slime

You slide headfirst down the tube, and immediately regret it when you get a mouthful of Slime. To be fair, the Slime doesn't seem thrilled by it, either.

or

You slide down into the tube and feet-first into a mass of Slime. You apologize and the two of you go your separate ways.

Nah, of course it's so angry it just has to try to beat you down.

or

You jump down the tube and land with a resounding shlooooorp. The Slime beneath you, and the Slime up above, quivers as it awakens. You know that old saying, "let sleeping Slime lie?" Well, you're about to wish you did.

or

You go down the tube, ready to go on a Slime spree. The mass of Slime in which you land is more than happy to oblige you.

or

You slide down into the tube and land flat on your back in a big puddle of muck. It makes you angry, but it gradually becomes clear that the Slime is just as angry at you as you are at it.

Maybe even moreso...

or

You trip jumping into the tube and somersault all the way to the bottom, where you're promptly beset by an angry mass of Slime.

or

You slide down into the tube, lose your footing, and end up face down in the Slime. You pick yourself up, but before you can even wipe yourself off you've been knocked back over by an undulating mass of goo.

or

You hop down the tube, and land on (and in) the undulating Slime. It doesn't appreciate that, and a mass of it rears up to fight.

or

You slide down into the tube, landing on a region of fairly stable Slime. Unfortunately, that region borders on a region of particularly unstable Slime, and there's about to be a territorial dispute.

or

You hop down into the tube, sinking up to your ankles in the Slime. Apparently your landing woke something up, because a big mass of goo wells up in front of you and starts undulating menacingly in your direction.

With a wet shlurrrp you pull your feet out of the muck and prepare for a fight.

or

You pop out of the end of the tube and land knee-deep in Slime. The Slime rises up to attack you, but try to be sympathetic -- how'd you feel if you woke up with someone knee-deep in you?

or

You leap into the tube, prepared to spring into action. Then you trip at the bottom, land on your ass, and almost get knocked over by a ticked-off mass of Slime.

or

You leap down the tube into the Slime. The Slime doesn't seem too happy about that, as well you can imagine.

Hit Message(s):

The Slime quickly undulates beneath you, giving you a pretty serious rugburn Ooh! Argh! Eek! (hot damage)

An orifice opens in the side of the Slime, and before you can get out of the way, you're caught in the blast of a moist, foul-smelling belch Argh! Ow! Eek! (stench damage)

The Slime, like your mother's advice, goes in one of your ears and out the other. Ow! Ugh! Ooh! (slime damage)

A massive pseudopod emerges from the side of the Slime and slaps you in the <neck>. Ugh! Oof! Ooh! (slime damage)

A tiny hole opens up in the end of a pulsating nodule, and it sprays you with an especially liquidy blast of goo Eek! Ugh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

The Slime extends a pseudopod and pstrangles you. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! (slime damage)

The Slime oozes across your face. It's like being licked by a puppy, only painful and disgusting. Oof! Ouch! Argh! (slime damage)

The Slime oozes up your leg, giving you the heebies and the jeebies all at once. Ugh! Ooh! Argh! (slime damage)

A groping pseudopod eats away the outer layer of your <leg>, then a dripping orifice blows cold air across it. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

The Slime oozes into your mouth and strangles you from the inside. Man, that thing's whole existence is flawed. Ooh! Oof! Oof! (slime damage)

The Slime puckers up and fires a massive glob of slime at your <skull>. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! (slime damage)

The Slime oozes up your nose, giving you the brief sensation of sneezing, only backwards. Then it squeezes your brain. Argh! Argh! Oof! (slime damage)

The Slime oozes under one of your fingernails and pops it off. Gah. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Ow! Argh! (slime damage)

The Slime oozes under one of your toenails and pops it off. Gah. Argh! Eek! Ouch! (slime damage)

The Slime undulates beneath you, tripping you. You fall flat on your <arm>. Oof! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Eek! (slime damage)

A pseudopod shoots up between your legs and, because this isn't a Japanese cartoon, settles for smacking you in the shins. Eek! Ow! Argh! (slime damage)

The Slime extrudes a pseudopod to pseudopop you in the pseudo-<lower back>. Oof! Ugh! (slime damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It completely engulfs your <ear>, eating into it with corrosive secretions and leaving you with a painful half-<giblets>. Ooh! Ouch! Ooh! Ow! Oof!

It uses two pseudopods to smack you in both ears at the same time. Ooh! Ugh! Eek! Ow! Ooh! (slime damage)

A pseudopod wraps around your chest and squeezes until your eyes pop out. You know, like one of those squeezy-eye-pop-out toys. Ouch! Ow! Ugh! Ugh! Eek! (slime damage)

Miss Message(s):

It puckers up and fires a massive glob of goo at your arse, but you dodge the slime by quickly falling prone in the... slime. Ew.

It tries to ooze under your fingernails, but there's too much gunk under there already.

The Slime swirls and undulates beneath you, but you manage to maintain both your footing and your heading.

The Slime extrudes a pseudopod to pseudomakeyouasandwich -- I mean, to slap the bejeezus out of you.

It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living booger.

The Slime tries to wrap you up in a glistening pseudopod, but you've never been much of a pod person.

The Slime lurches and sways beneath your feet, knocking you down, but you just get up again. That slime is never gonna keep you down.

The Slime knocks you on your back and ripples beneath you. It feels pretty relaxing, actually.

The Slime tries to assault you with some wriggling tentacles, but you've read enough manga to know how to avoid that sort of thing.

A tiny geyser of viscous goo erupts beneath you, but you faithfully leap out of the way.

It tries to go up your nose, but you sneeze it back out.

Fumble Message:

It wraps around your chest and squeezes, but you flex your pecs and rip it asunder.

It tries to engulf your <groin>, but ends up engulfing itself, instead. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

At the beginning of combat:

The Slime sprays you with a massive gout of corrosive goo.

You acquire an effect: Coated in Slime (duration: 11-X Adventures)

While engulfing a rusty object:

The Slime draws back and shudders, as if it's about to sneeze. Then it blasts you with a massive loogie that sticks to your <base rusty item>, pulls it off of you, and absorbs it back into the mass.

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: slimy fermented bile bladder (5.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: slimy sweetbreads (4.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: tiny slimy cyst (5.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: wad of slimy rags (1% chance)*

---

Occurs at The Slime Tube with less than +101 Monster Level active.

Notes

• Possible avatars for the slime are:

• Slime names will be randomly generated as "<adjective> Slime <noun>."
  • The adjective is one of the following: dripping, glistening, pulsating, pulsing, squirming, throbbing.
  • The noun is one of the following: lump, polyp, pseudopod, nodule.
• In the dungeon log and in the On the Trail description, any slime is simply called "Slime Monster."
• Sometimes after defeating a Slime Monster, a chamois is added to The Bucket with the message:

Weird. In the slimy mess left behind by your enemy, you find a chamois. You toss it in the bucket at the lip of the Slime Tube.

• Chamoix are less likely to be found the higher your +ML is – with zero +ML, chamoix appear to drop 100% of the time.
  • There have been several reports suggesting that with -ML the drop chance of the chamois is reduced as well.

References

• The miss message "The Slime lurches and sways beneath your feet, knocking you down, but you just get up again. That slime is never gonna keep you down." refers to the following refrain from Chumbawamba's song Tubthumping:

  "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down."

• The message "The Slime extrudes a pseudopod to pseudomakeyouasandwich -- I mean, to slap the bejeezus out of you." is a reference to this XKCD comic.
• Another hit message is a reference to Nine Inch Nails' song Closer, which contains the lyrics "I wanna feel you from the inside ... My whole existence is flawed."
• The hit message about Japanese cartoons is a reference to tentacle erotica, which is sometimes seen in Japanese anime.
• The phrase describing "Slime beneath you, and the Slime up above" is a reference to lyrics from the song "Toxic Love" from the film FernGully: The Last Rainforest. The song is sung by the villian Hexxus, a slime-like creature.