|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
While climbing a rickety wooden staircase in a back passage of the castle, you hear an unexpected click noise. Looking around, you discover a vampire hiding under the stairs with a camera. "What the hell are you doing?" you ask, angrily.
"Oh, nothing! Just preserving the memory, heh heh. Oh come on, don't be uptight, it's all in good fun." He holds the camera up again. "C'mon, let's see that pretty smile. Smile for the camera, beautiful!"
"I'm going to do something with that camera, all right," you say, "but neither one of us is going to be smiling."
He whines and coaxes and pleads, until you finally just let him bite you, since he can't talk while he's doing that. Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
He tries to explain what a nice guy he is and how he deserves to be allowed to bite your neck and suck out your blood. You start trying to knock yourself unconscious so you don't have to listen to him. Ooh! Ouch! (sleaze damage)
He bites you on the neck, and gets hair oil all over your ear. Uggggh! Oof! Ugh! (sleaze damage)
The vampire gives you the worst hickey imaginable. Eek! Ouch! (sleaze damage)
The vampire bites your neck, which is standard for a vampire. The way he licked it first, not so much. Ow! Oof! Ow! Eek! (sleaze damage)
He tries to bite your neck, but you quickly pop your collar to block him.
He tries to explain to you how he's a really nice guy, actually, but the two of you seem to disagree on what 'nice' means.
He tries to bite you, but you angrily shout "No means NO!"
He tries to bite you on the neck, but you aren't into neckrophilia.
The vampire can't decide whether to bite you or lick you, and bites his own tongue. (FUMBLE!)
The vampire gives you a too-long hug before he sucks your blood. What a creep.
|You lose 1-10 hit points.|
|Enemy regains 10 HP|
|You acquire an item: Freddy Kruegerand|
|You acquire an item: Dreadsylvanian Almanac page (.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: blood sausage (.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Mark of the Vampire|
|You gain ??? <substat>.|
Occurs at Dreadsylvanian Castle
- This monster cannot be copied.
- The Freddy Kruegerand and Dreadsylvanian Almanac page drops are not affected by item drop modifiers. They are similar to the beer lens drop and drops from crates. In particular, they can still drop after being stomped.
- Every round, vampires suck your blood, healing themselves.
- The vampire gives you a too-long hug before he sucks your blood. What a creep.
- The vampire assails you with awkward pick-up lines before he sucks your blood. You're not sure which is worse.
- The vampire hits on you, awkwardly, then sucks your blood.
- The vampire leans so close in to bite you that his hair oil gets all over your face. Yich.
- The vampire licks your cheek, then sucks your blood. Fagh! Was that really necessary?
- The vampire makes a crude joke about the size of his fangs before he bites you.
- The vampire makes a series of obscene gestures before he bites you.
- The vampire moons you (turning a nearby dude into a werewolf), then bites you.
- The vampire sucks your blood and pinches your butt at the same time. Inappropriate.
- The vampire sucks your blood with his grotty, nasty fangs.
- Your skin slickens with sweat as the vampire caresses, then bites your neck.
- The name, image, and introduction text of this monster are all randomly selected: