Sewer Tunnel

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. Success/failure criteria for glyph tests, grate tests?

You steel your nerves and descend into the darkened tunnel.

Code Tests

3 Tunnels (#1)

You come to a 3-way junction of sewer tunnels. They're identical, except for some strange-looking glyphs carved into the stone above each one.

• Without hobo code binder in possession:

You have no idea what any of the glyphs mean, though, so you just head down a tunnel at random.

• With hobo code binder in possession, but not equipped:

You recognize the gylphs as secret hobo code, but you don't have your binder with you, so you can't look them up. You head down a tunnel at random.

• With hobo code binder equipped, not enough notes:

You flip through your code binder, but you can't figure out what any of the glyphs mean. Looks like you need to brush up on your hobo code.

• With hobo code binder equipped, with enough notes:

You flip through your code binder, and figure out that one of the glyphs is code for 'shortcut', while the others are the glyphs for 'longcut' and 'crewcut', respectively. You head down the 'shortcut' tunnel.

Ladder (#2)

You encounter a spot where a ladder passes through the tunnel from the ceiling to the floor. You notice some symbols scratched on the sewer wall near the ladder.

• Without hobo code binder in possession:

You have no idea what any of the glyphs mean, though, so you head back the way you came.

• With hobo code binder in possession, but not equipped:

You recognize the gylphs as secret hobo code, but you don't have your binder with you, so you can't look them up. You go back the way you came.

• With hobo code binder equipped, not enough notes:

You flip through your binder, but you can't quite translate them. You head back the way you came, just in case they mean something like "Dangerous leopard ahead."

• With hobo code binder equipped, with enough notes:

You flip through your code binder, and gain a basic understanding of the sign: "This ladder just goes in a big circle. If you climb it you'll end up back where you started." You continue down the tunnel, instead.

3 Ladders (#3)

You reach a point in the tunnel where three ladders descend into the darkness. There's no way to tell them apart, but there are some strange glyphs scratched into the top run of each of the ladders.

• Without hobo code binder in possession:

You have no idea what any of the glyphs mean, though, so you just pick a ladder at random and continue on your merry way.

• With hobo code binder in possession, but not equipped:

You recognize the gylphs as secret hobo code, but you don't have your binder with you, so you can't look them up. You head down a ladder at random.

• With hobo code binder equipped, not enough notes:

You're unable to find these particular glyphs in your binder, though, so you just pick a ladder at random and hope for the best.

• With hobo code binder equipped, with enough notes:

You consult your binder and translate the glyphs -- one of them says "This way to the Great Egress" and the other two are just advertisements for Amalgamated Ladderage, Inc. You head toward the Egress.

Item Tests

Goldfish

As you trudge down another side tunnel through more waist-deep sewage, your progress is blocked when an immense zombie goldfish rears his head directly in front of you. You start to freak out, but then you notice that the goldfish seems to be wearing a... monocle? Your fear turns to interest.

"I say," says the goldfish, "but would you happen to have any decent food? I've had ever so much trouble finding anything acceptable to eat since Master Stephen flushed me."

• Without unfortunate dumplings in inventory:

You rummage through your sack, but are unable to find anything appropriate.

"Sorry, can't help you," you say, "I'm all out of... whatever it is that... rich undead goldfish like to eat..." as you shuffle back the way you came.

• With unfortunate dumplings in inventory:

"How about these?" you ask, offering the fish some of your unfortunate dumplings.

"Ah!" he exclaims. "These will indubitably satisfy my refined appetite. Merci Beaucoup, old chap! Pip pip!"

You leave the fish to his delicious meal and proceed further down the tunnel.

C.H.U.M.

You head down a side tunnel, but your progress is blocked by a particularly beligerent C.H.U.M.

"Me Laroquette," grunts the C.H.U.M., who apparently managed to pick up some basic English somewhere. "Me Laroquette, you stranger. You pay. You pay tribute."

• Without sewer wad in inventory:

"What sort of tribute?" you ask.

"Jewel." he says. "Jewel made of this." He plunges his hand into the filthy water and pulls out some chunks of relatively solid refuse.

"Uh... okay," you say, "I'll come back if I run across any jewels made of sewage."

You head back the way you came.

• With sewer wad in inventory:

Before you can ask him what kind of tribute he wants, you see his eyes light up at the sight of your sewer wad.

"What, this?" you say, "You can have it."

He grabs the wad and runs away, giggling and snorting with glee and... disgustingness. You proceed down the tunnel.

Drunken C.H.U.M.

As you proceed down a dark side tunnel, you pause at the sound of slurred singing. You cautiously approach the source of the sound, and find it to be an extremely drunk C. H. U. M., lurching back and forth as he staggers down the tunnel.

He notices you, and starts yelling at you incomprehensibly as he digs through your sack.

• Without bottle of Ooze-O in inventory:

Apparently he doesn't find anything he wants, because he suddenly becomes enraged and starts wildly swinging punches at you. You manage to avoid getting hit, but you don't see any easy way to get past him, so you head back the way you came.

• With bottle of Ooze-O in inventory:

He finds a bottle of Ooze-O, and begins giggling madly. He uncorks the bottle, takes a drink, and passes out in a heap.

You step over his prone, odiferous form and proceed down the tunnel.

Iron Bars

You head down another branch of the sewer maze, and find your passage blocked by floor-to-ceiling iron bars. You can't see any way to open them, but it looks like maybe, just maybe, you could squeeze through.

• Without any flasks of oil of oiliness in inventory:

You grunt and strain, but you can't manage to get between the bars. Looks like you've got two options -- go on a diet, or find some way to grease yourself up. And who are we kidding, going on a diet isn't really ever an option. You trudge glumly back the way you came.

• With one or two flasks of oil of oiliness in inventory:

You grunt and strain, but you can't manage to get between the bars. You consider pouring some of your oil of oiliness onto yourself, but you estimate that you don't have quite enough to cover your entire body, and you don't want to waste any of it.

You head back the way you came.

• With 3 flasks of oil of oiliness in inventory:

You grunt and strain, but you can't manage to get between the bars. In a flash of insight, you douse yourself with oil of oiliness (it takes three whole bottles to cover your entire body) and squeak through like a champagne cork. Only without the bang, and you're not made out of cork, and champagne doesn't usually smell like sewage. Anyway. You continue down the tunnel.

Sewage Pipe

You duck down a branching tunnel, and your way is blocked by a torrent of effluent (it's like a wave of mutilation, but messier) pouring from an overhead pipe.

• Without gatorskin umbrella equipped:

With no means of protecting yourself from the sewagefall, you're forced to go back the direction you came from and head down a different, less interesting branch.

• With gatorskin umbrella equipped:

Fortunately, your gatorskin umbrella allows you to pass beneath the sewagefall without incident. There's not much left of the umbrella, though, and you discard it before moving deeper into the tunnel.

Grate

• If your clanmates have opened enough grates from Disgustin' Junction:

Further into the sewer, you encounter a halfway-open grate with a crank on the opposite side. What luck -- looks like somebody else opened this grate from the other side!

You spend a few more minutes exploring the sewer on the other side of the grate before getting tired and heading back up into the basement.

• Otherwise:

Further into the sewer, you encounter a grate completely blocking the tunnel you're heading down. You can see a crank that's probably the opening mechanism for the grate, but, of course, it's on the other side of the grate. You try to reach between the bars, but you don't even come close. You're forced to head back the way you came, and it's getting pretty late, so you end up just heading back up into the basement where you started..

Final message

• If all encountered tests resulted in failure:

That seemed like sort of a waste of time. You should really be a little more prepared next time you head off into one of those tunnels.

• If one or two tests resulted in success:

You squeegee yourself off, feeling a little more confident in your sewer-navigating abilities.

• If three or four tests resulted in success:

You squeegee yourself off, feeling quite a bit more confident in your sewer-navigating abilities.

• If five or six tests resulted in success:

You squeegee yourself off, feeling like you're really starting to get the hang of navigating these sewers.

---

Occurs as part of Disgustin' Junction, Somewhat Higher and Mostly Dry, and The Former or the Ladder in A Maze of Sewer Tunnels.

Notes

• Each trip through the sewer tunnels consists of the first code test, a randomly selected item test, the second code test, another randomly selected item test, the third code tests, and the grate.
• The result of each test determines how much progress you make in exploring A Maze of Sewer Tunnels.
• The number of hobo codes in your hobo code binder determines your chance of passing each code test. The first test requires the least codes to always pass, while the last test requires all known codes to guarantee a pass. See [1] and Advanced Hobopolis Mechanics for more details.

References

• The C.H.U.M. named Laroquette may be a take on the actor John Larroquette.
• The "wave of mutilation" from the sewer pipe refers to the Pixies song "Wave of Mutilation".
• The success message for the 3-ladder test alludes to P.T. Barnum's strategy for keeping traffic moving through his American Museum: he posted signs touting, "This Way to the Egress", trusting his patrons to assume that the Egress was a featured exhibit rather than the exit.
• Master Stephen is most likely the son of Lord Spookyraven