Seal Clubber/Old

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Male Female Tattoo Hardcore Tattoo Hardcore Oxygenarian Tattoo Legendary Regalia Tattoo Legendary Regalia Female Legendary Regalia Male

The Seal Clubber class skill system was revamped on September 26, 2013. The following is an archive of the class page prior to the change.


Seal Clubbers hail from the frigid Northlands, because one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands. They rely on their Muscle to survive.


Most Seal Clubber skills are learned from The Brotherhood of the Smackdown. All Seal Clubbers begin the game with Seal Clubbing Frenzy and Clobber.

Level Skill Description Effect Type MP Cost Train Cost
0 Clubseal.gif
Seal Clubbing Frenzy
By clubbing a stuffed seal at your campsite, you can work yourself into a frenzy. Your Strongness will increase for a period of time. Seal Clubbing Frenzy
(+2 Muscle)
(5 Adventures)
Non-combat 1 N/A
0 Clobber.gif
Adventurer smash! X damage Combat 1 N/A
1 Hskin.gif
Hide of the Otter
Your skin becomes as thick as the skin of an otter, affording minor protection against enemy attacks. +20 Damage Absorption Passive N/A 250 Meat
2 3claws.gif
Claws of the Otter
You become infused with the fighting spirit of the Otter, adding 3 damage to all of your melee attacks. +3 Bonus Weapon Damage Passive N/A 500 Meat
3 Tongueotter.gif
Tongue of the Otter
This skill gives you the ability to lick your wounds, healing 10-20 Hit Points and making you feel less beaten up. Non-combat 7 1000 Meat
4 Club.gif
This is a thrusting smack with your weapon. It will do double the usual amount of damage to your opponent if it connects. 2X Weapon Damage Combat 3 1500 Meat
5 Hammer.gif
Super-Advanced Meatsmithing
You are a master of the Tenderizing Hammer. The echo of generations of Seal Clubbers reverberates in your muscles as you beat the meat into shape. Shapes, actually -- the shapes of powerful weapons. Can smith weapons using ores. Can smith whips using skins. (Costs 1 adv.) Passive N/A 2500 Meat
6 Eyeball.gif
Eye of the Stoat
This skill imbues you with the spirit of a tenacious and vicious (and incredibly accurate) stoat. Your Thrust-Smacks and Lunging Thrust-Smacks will hit more often, you'll fumble less often, and your chances of scoring critical hits will be improved.
  • Thrust-Smack and Lunging Thrust-Smack skills hit more often.
  • Lunging Thrust-Smack deals more damage
  • Fumble less frequently
  • +.5X Critical Hit Chance (stacks with equipment bonuses)
Passive N/A 3500 Meat
7 Yakskin.gif
Hide of the Walrus
Your skin becomes as thick as the hide of a walrus, affording additional protection against enemy attacks. +40 Damage Absorption Passive N/A 5000 Meat
8 3clawsbig.gif
Claws of the Walrus
You become one with the spirit of the War Walrus, adding 4 damage to each of your melee attacks. +4 Bonus Weapon Damage Passive N/A 6500 Meat
9 Tonguewalrus.gif
Tongue of the Walrus
This skill gives you the ability to lick your wounds, healing 30-40 Hit Points and making you feel less beaten up. Non-combat 10 8000 Meat
10 Cudgel.gif
Lunging Thrust-Smack
This is a thrust-smack with a lunge added to it for good measure. If it connects, will do triple damage to your opponent. 3X Weapon Damage Combat 8 10000 Meat
11 Reindeer.gif
Rage of the Reindeer
This skill fills you with the rage of thousands of subjugated reindeer. This rage will make you stronger, especially when fighting guys with beards. Rage of the Reindeer
(+10% Muscle and +10 Bonus Weapon Damage)
(10 Adventures)
Non-combat 10 12500 Meat
12 2clubs.gif
Double-Fisted Skull Smashing
This skill allows you to wield a one-handed weapon in each of your hands. It'll make it much easier for you to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women. Allows dual-wielding Passive N/A 15000 Meat
13 Blackcold.gif
Northern Exposure
This skill allows you to remember your upbringing in the Frigid Northlands. You'll be as snug as a bug in a rug, even when the wintry wind whips willy-nilly 'cross your nose. Think... the opposite of Sam McGee. So-So Cold Resistance Passive N/A 20000 Meat
14 Moosemusk.gif
Musk of the Moose
By concentrating very hard, you're able to exude moose musk from your pores. The smell of the musk will make you more likely to encounter monsters when adventuring. Musk of the Moose
(Increases Combat Frequency)
(10 Adventures)
Non-combat 10 25000 Meat
15 Blackhammer.gif
This skill allows you to smash certain pieces of equipment into their magical essences with a tenderizing hammer. Can smash equipment into tasty, bite-sized chunks of the essence of the elements, including non-elemental damage. Grants access to The Malus of Forethought for Muscle classes. Passive N/A 30000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A Wolfmask.gif
Snarl of the Timberwolf
This skill makes you all snarly and spooky. Like a timberwolf. Timberwolves, if you didn't know this, are both the snarliest and the spookiest animals north of the arctic circle. Snarl of the Timberwolf
(+10 Spooky Damage)
(10 Adventures)
Non-combat 10 N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A Hookspear.gif
While underwater, you're capable of fashioning any weapon into a makeshift harpoon, and throwing it with deadly accuracy. X damage; can be used on land as well Combat 30 N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A Bathroomscale.gif
Holiday Weight Gain
Everybody puts on a little extra weight during the holidays, but you've figured out how to do it any time of the year! A Few Extra Pounds
(+X HP)
(10 Adventures)
Non-combat 10 N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A Palmtree.gif
Iron Palm Technique
By focusing your chi, or something, you've learned how to make the palms of your hands as hard as iron. The practical upshot is that you can hold swords by the blade and hit people with the hilt. Iron Palms
(Swords count as clubs)
(intrinsic effect)
Non-combat 1 N/A


The amount of Muscle required to attain level L follows the formula Muscle = L2 - 2L+ 5.

Class-Specific Powers

Class Gear


  • Pre-NS13, Seal Clubbers started with a seal tooth and a seal-clubbing club in their inventory.
  • Before ascension, Seal Clubbers could purchase the now-defunct Lunge-Smack as a level 2 skill from the guild trainer.
  • Many Seal Clubbers use their high muscle stat to fight with melee attacks.


  • The class description refers to the common cliché among role playing games of having at least one Northern, "savage" character class or race (barbarians, vikings, giants, so on).
  • Clubbing seals is a stereotyped practice of northern fur trappers, and an image commonly seized upon by animal rights activists for the apparent brutality against an animal often considered cute and/or friendly.
Seal Clubber
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