Seal-clubbing club

seal-clubbing club This is a club used to club seals. You could probably club other things with it, too. Just make sure to regularly seal your seal-clubbing club with seal-clubbing club seal. (Meat Pasting component) (Meatsmithing component) Type: weapon (1-handed club) Damage: 1 - 2 Selling Price: 1 Meat. (In-game plural: seal-clubbing clubs)

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Obtained From

The Spooky Forest

A Three-Tined Fork

Familiars

Baby Bugged Bugbear

Items

Chewing gum on a string (sometimes)

Deck of Every Card

Draw a Card (X of Clubs)

Skills

Calculate the Universe (with a final result of 1)

Other

Starting/Ascending as a Seal Clubber

Obsoleted Areas/Methods

The Sewer

Fishing Around in the Sewer

Sewer Luck! (with ten-leaf clover)

Miscellaneous

The Curious Monkey

Uses

• Bjorn's Hammer
• club of corruption
• Meat Tenderizer is Murder

Messages

• Weapon-Specific Hit Messages:

You pretend that <it>'s a seal, and club the crap out of <it> for X damage. BIFF! ZAP! SMACK!

You pretend <it>'s a Christmas Seal, and festively club them for X damage. BOOF! SMACK! BOINK!

You use your seal-clubbing club to usher <it> into the exclusive "I Just Took X Damage" club. BOOF! BAM! WHAMMO!

You realize you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy, so you crazily bash <it> with your seal-clubbing club for X damage. BOINK! WHACK! SMACK!

You compare <it> to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Then you introduce <it> to a kiss from your club on <its> face (for X damage). SPLAT! WHAMMO! SOCKO!

Notes

• This was the very first item.
• On April 29, 2005, the Giant Trash Quest was accidentally rolled out, and temporarily awarded a seal-clubbing club instead of a giant discarded plastic fork.
• On January 20, 2006, a half-finished page was found which allowed you to trade 1,000 items in exchange for a banana. However, as the banana item was not coded at the time, the page instead reverted to giving item #1, the seal-clubbing club. Xenophobe subsequently removed the page in question.

References

• The image used is the sturdy fallen branch from Krakrox the Barbarian.
• Some of the hit messages reference lyrics from songs by Seal: "Crazy" and "Kiss From A Rose".

Collection

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