Seal-clubbing club

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seal-clubbing club
seal-clubbing club

This is a club used to club seals. You could probably club other things with it, too. Just make sure to regularly seal your seal-clubbing club with seal-clubbing club seal.

(Meat Pasting component)
(Meatsmithing component)
Type: weapon (1-handed club)
Damage: 1 - 2
Selling Price: 1 Meat.

(In-game plural: seal-clubbing clubs)

Obtained From

The Spooky Forest
A Three-Tined Fork
Baby Bugged Bugbear
Chewing gum on a string (sometimes)
Deck of Every Card
Draw a Card (X of Clubs)
Calculate the Universe (with a final result of 1)
Starting/Ascending as a Seal Clubber
Obsoleted Areas/Methods
The Sewer
Fishing Around in the Sewer
Sewer Luck! (with ten-leaf clover)
The Curious Monkey



You pretend that <it>'s a seal, and club the crap out of <it> for X damage. BAM! WHACK! SOCKO!
You pretend <it>'s a Christmas Seal, and festively club them for X damage. WHACK! WHAMMO! BIFF!
You use your seal-clubbing club to usher <it> into the exclusive "I Just Took X Damage" club. BONK! BARF! WHAMMO!
You realize you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy, so you crazily bash <it> with your seal-clubbing club for X damage. WHAMMO! POW! BOINK!
You compare <it> to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Then you introduce <it> to a kiss from your club on <its> face (for X damage). SOCKO! WHACK! POW!


  • This was the very first item.
  • On April 29, 2005, the Giant Trash Quest was accidentally rolled out, and temporarily awarded a seal-clubbing club instead of a giant discarded plastic fork.
  • On January 20, 2006, a half-finished page was found which allowed you to trade 1,000 items in exchange for a banana. However, as the banana item was not coded at the time, the page instead reverted to giving item #1, the seal-clubbing club. Xenophobe subsequently removed the page in question.



Slash.gif disco ball | disco mask | helmet turtle | mariachi pants | pasta spoon | ravioli hat | saucepan | seal-skull helmet | seal-clubbing club | stolen accordion | turtle totem


"1" does not have an RSS file (yet?) for the collection database.