School of wizardfish

School of wizardfish
Monster ID	717
Locations	The Briny Deeps
Hit Points	400
Attack	300
Defense	270
No-Hit	310
Initiative	100
Meat	160-240
Phylum	fish
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	fin, head, tail
Drops dull fish scale, glistening fish meat, folder (Seawolf), fishy wand (in first four rounds of combat, after asking Grandpa about wizardfish and avius ticklium))
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a school of wizardfish

This is a specialized school for fish with a natural talent for magic. They split their time between learning spells and having their lives endangered by the callous machinations of their headmasterfish. This particular school looks to be only first-year wizardfish, so at least they haven't learned any of the nastier spells yet -- you know, like the one that gives you a headache, blurred vision, and dozens of gaping wounds all over your body.

Hit Message(s):

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "teapottus convertio!" One of your legs turns into a teapot and back again. The process is surprisingly painful. Oof! Ouch! Oof! Ow! Argh! Oof! Ooh!

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "percusso gonadium!" You feel like someone's kicked you square in the crotch. Ow! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Oof! Ow! Argh!

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "dolorum nonsequitus!" You get trampled by a passing rhino. Man, that didn't make any sense. Eek! Eek! Ugh! Eek! Ooh! Ouch! Ooh!

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "aquas allergio!" You develop a water allergy, and sneeze until you bang your head on a rock. Ow! Eek! Argh! Oof! Ouch! Ouch!

One of the fish waves its wand at you and burbles, "angstio existentialus!" You feel like there isn't a point to existence, and cut yourself just to feel feelings. Argh! Ouch! Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "igneous volantus!" A rock breaks off a nearby crag and falls on your toe. Oof! Ugh! Argh! Ooh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

The teacherfish waves its wand and burbles, "innagadda davida!" A pair of drumsticks appears above you and plays a 10-minute drum solo on your brainpan. It's boring and painful at the same time. Argh! Ouch! Eek! Oof! Ow! Argh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "winguardem tickliosa!" A feather appears and tickles you. Hee, hee, hee!

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "surrealio nonsequitus!" An elephant swims by carrying a copy of the Mona Lisa made out of macaroni.

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "assaultus incompetentio!" Nothing happens.

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "percusso gonadium!" Nothing happens - it must have put the accent on the wrong syllable or something.

One of the fish waves its wand and burbles, "imbecilius totalus!" A beam of magic hits you, but does it not affect your ability brain to.

One of the fish waves its wand at you, but the wand drops out of its fin. Wizard. . . muggle . . . I'm the guy with the thumbs.

Fumble Message:

The teacherfish waves its wand and hisses, "mario! Mario!" Nothing much happens. That must be one of those deadly spells you really have to mean to make them work. You adjust your overalls, groom your mustache, and wait for the next attack. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

One of the wizardfish swims directly above you, and you can see his vulnerable underbelly. Thinking back to what Grandpa told you, you shout "Avius ticklium!" A feather appears and tickles the fish vigorously until he drops his wand. You snag the wand for future use.

You acquire an item: fishy wand

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After Combat

You gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.32)*

You acquire an item: dull fish scale (14.6% chance)*

You acquire an item: glistening fish meat (5.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: folder (Seawolf) (5% chance)*

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Occurs at The Briny Deeps.

Notes

• The fishy wand drops only after asking Grandpa about wizardfish and avius ticklium. Furthermore, although it is possible to get multiple wands in the same combat the wand can only drop during the first four rounds of combat.
• This monster counts as a group (of size 10). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.
• The folder (Seawolf) cannot drop unless you have an Over-the-shoulder Folder Holder equipped.

References

• There are many references to Harry Potter and Hogwarts, including several references to the levitating spell "wingardium leviosa", which students practiced on feathers. In the movie, what happens is that after several unsuccessful attempts, Ron Weasley is corrected by Hermione Granger, who states, "It's levi-O-sa, not levio-SA" (as in "the accent on the wrong syllable").
• "Mario" sounds similar to "Crucio", the Cruciatus (or Torture) curse. It was revealed that in order to be effective, the caster "really has to mean it".
• The attack with drumsticks is a reference to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly.
• The miss message "Wizard...muggle...I'm the guy with the thumbs" is a slight variation on a one-liner by Ash of Evil Dead.
• The miss message about Mario is of course the Mario of Nintendo fame.
• The "surrealio nonsequitus!" message refers to both non sequiturs and surrealism. Surrealist artist Salvador Dali often used elephants in his paintings. The message is, in the context of the game, also a non sequitur.