Saved by the Bell
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You feel kind of nervous as you head to your next class. If your teacher drops a test, you know you're in a mess. And what's worse, your dog ate all your homework last night! If you could just hand it in tomorrow, you'd be...
BRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNG!
Ah, sweet release! You're all done with school for the day. And what better way to celebrate than to spend some more time in school? Time to hit up the extra-curriculars.
| Go to Choir Club |
You walk into the choir class and take your seat. You practice some scales and arpeggios, sing "one black bug bled blue-black blood, the other black bug bled blue," and get your voice all warmed up to throw down some dulcet tones. The choir teacher motions with her little conducting wand for everyone to sing, and you start in on the Loathing High School Fight Song:
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
Hail to thee, oh hallowed halls
With graffiti on thy walls
With thy ivy-covered teachers
And the sweat-stains on thy bleachers
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
Hail to jocks who hand out beatings,
Hail to nerds and their retreatings
Hail to greasers too cool for us,
Voices raise we proud in chorus!
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
Hail to acne and palm-sweating,
Hail to nervous first-base-getting
Hail to pressure from our peers,
Hail to hormones, hail to tears!
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
Hail to wedgies and face-punches,
Hail to toxic sludge for lunches,
Hail to algebra and cursive,
And suppressing thoughts subversive,
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
We will learn a language well,
¿Dónde est´ el hotel?
¿Quién tiene mis zapatos?
¿Conoces a estos vatos?
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
You realize you don't know any of the other verses to the song, and there are an awful lot of verses. You mouth along as best you can, studiously confirming and denying things with sweeping gestures and expressive mouth movements. Fortunately, nobody calls you out for being a sentient ventriloquist dummy, and you can try again tomorrow.
 | You acquire an effect: School Spirited (duration: X Adventures) |
where X is ten times the number of consecutive visits in this ascension.
You walk into the choir club, but the rest of the students have gone home, except for a few who are practicing an a capella rendition of their favorite Radioactive Child song. You're not quite ready to commit to the level of awesome dorkiness required to join them, so you slip out before you're spotted and forced to go "Hummma nama nama, hummma nama nama" while someone else sings lead.
| Go to the Undead Poets Society |
You walk into the Undead Poets Society club room. As you look around, you think "Goth Beatnik Hipster Society" would be a more accurate name. The kids in here are all wearing black turtlenecks and berets, and they take turns reciting poetry while accompanying each other on conga drums.
The teacher running the club leaps up on a desk. "You, there! You have to <thing>!"
"I'll do my best," you respond.
"No, really!" he shouts, waving his bizarrely hairy arms in the air, "you have to love life and live love and love your liver! You have to express yourself through tiny context-free snippets of old poems!"
"Uh, okay..." you reply, and rack your brains to think of some inspirational poetry. You clear your throat and recite:
"That's awesome! You're the best teacher ever!" the students shout, and pick up their hairy instructor to carry him on a victory lap around the room. You join in and wear yourself out running and shouting, "O Captain my Captain," but you do feel smarter after the whole weird exercise.
 | You acquire an effect: Poetically Licensed (duration: 50 Adventures) |
You walk into the Undead Poets Society club room. The room's empty, and the curiously hairy teacher is packing up his briefcase to leave.
"Club meeting's done for today, sorry," he says, and starts to leave.
"O Captain, my Captain, can we just hang out a little while longer?" you ask.
"Look, you seem like a nice kid, and I'd love to help, but I have to get to my second job at the Children's Hospital," he says, strapping on a red rubber nose. "I dress as a clown and terrify the cancer out of the little squirts!"
You agree you shouldn't delay the guy on his mission of mercy, and you definitely don't want to hang around anyone dressed as a clown.
| Go to the Yearbook Club |
You walk into the Yearbook Club. A kid with three cameras slung around his neck steps up to you as you enter the room, before you can even say you want to join. And before you can wonder whether or not you actually do want to join.
"Hey, good to see another warm body in here; we can use all the help we can get," he says. "If you wanna join the club, all you have to do is get a photo of a a[sic] <random? monster> for us."
"What does that have to do with yearbook pictures?" you ask.
"It's for the 'most likely to slay a fearsome beast' competition, okay?" the camera kid says. "Look, take this camera, keep it around your neck at all times, and when you find a <same random? monster>, it'll take a picture automatically. Then check in with us tomorrow, all right?"
 | You acquire an item: Yearbook Club Camera |
- When returning with a photograph:
You walk into the Yearbook Club and collar the kid with all the camera equipment from yesterday. "Let me check your memory card," he says, plugging the camera into a computer. "Yup! You got it! Nice work. Here's your reward -- a nice new accessory for that camera! If you're interested, now we need a picture of an <random? monster>. You up for it?"
- When returning without a photograph:
A notice is tacked outside the Yearbook Club room,
Monster Photograph assignments have been randomly changed. For reasons.
-The Management
You walk back into the Yearbook Club, a little tentatively. "All right! Let's see what you've got!" the camera kid says, and plugs your camera into a computer. "Aw, man, you didn't get it? Well, I'll give you another chance. If you can still get us a picture of a <random? monster> and bring it in tomorrow, you're still in the Club."
- Second time in a day after already returning without a photograph:
You poke your head into the Yearbook Club room, but the camera kid's packing up all the equipment and putting it away. "Sorry, gotta go," he says, "but remember, you've gotta get a picture of a <random? monster> for tomorrow, all right? We're counting on you."
| Go to the Gym |
You duck into the gym class. It's your basic sweat-sock-smelling gym, with a basketball hoop at either side, and various implements of torture--er, I mean exercise--just waiting to humiliate you.
Coach is already in there, wearing the creepy short shorts and too-tight shirt gym class teachers seem to be required to wear, putting the kids through the paces.
"All right, maggots! Let's see you give me <number of workouts> <type of workout>!" he shouts. You reluctantly join in and give it your best, until your <muscles> are aching and you can barely stand.
"All right, botfly larvae! Hit the showers! I'll be watching to make sure you do it properly!" Coach shouts. You decide to opt out and stay sweaty but unskeeved.
 | You acquire an effect: Cut But Not Dried (duration: 50 Adventures) |
You start to join in, but then you see instead of exercising the kids are playing that most sadistic of gym activities, dodge ball. Even worse, instead of soft foam balls they're using those stupid kickballs that leave big red welts on your face when they PWOING off of you. You decide you don't want any of that action, and duck back out.
| Hang Out under the Bleachers |
You see little puffs of smoke coming from under the bleachers. Hey, maybe someone's making S'mores down there! That'd be awesome! You duck down behind the bleachers and see a group of kids (well, they must be kids since they're still in high school, but they look to be in their mid-thirties) in black leather jackets and blue jeans, passing around a tube full of burning leaves.
"Hey, you wanna smoke? Or make out a little with one of us?" one of the greasers says. "I'm Johnny Spumoni, that's Maria Sencilla, and that's Taylor 'Morgan' Smith."
"Well, I don't think I'm 'cool' enough to smoke," you reply, but I'm down for makin' out with at least one of you."
You suck a little face with the cool kid you're most into, and even though that kid's mouth tastes like an ashtray, it's a pretty moxious experience.
 | You acquire an effect: Isskay like an Ashtray (duration: 50 Adventures) |
You duck under the bleachers, only to see the cool kids are all packing up their flasks, zipping up their...jackets, and getting ready to leave.
"Don't you guys want to hang out?" you ask.
"Nah, I gotta get home and help my ma make dinner," Johnny Spumoni says, "er, I mean, my ma's such an uncool fascist that she makes me do all the cooking."
"Yeah," Maria Sencilla says, "I have to go work at Burger Hut. I'm saving up to buy my first tattoo."
"And I've gotta pick up my younger sibling, Tracy, at gym class," Pat adds.
"Wow, you guys are really responsible," you say.
"Don't tell anyone!" Johnny says, looking terrified. "We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
| Go to the Chemistry Lab |
(Only occurs withs Nerd is the Word active.) Combine items found in Chemistry Class to make new items.
| Go to the art classroom |
(Only occurs with Greaser Lightnin' active.) Combine items found in Art Class to make new items.
| Go to the wood shop |
(Only occurs with Jamming with the Jocks active.) Combine items found in Shop Class to make new items.
| Leave |
You suddenly realize that you've got comic books at home. Screw this place.
Occurs at any zone in KoL High School after 40 turns.
Notes
- This adventure does not take a turn, and can occur 3 times a day. It can occur with no adventures remaining.
- The number of turns of School Spirited you get from Choir Club appears to depend on how many verses you successfully sing.
- Returning to the Yearbook Club with a photographed monster on the same day it was assigned doesn't work. You are told that the picture will be required tomorrow.
- Attempting to do this with Yearbook Club only does not take away from the 3 times a day limit. Maybe. Unless they changed it. There's no reason to do it anyway.
- If you forgot to photograph yesterday's assigned monster and visit the Yearbook Club, they'll remind you what you were supposed to photograph and you'll have another chance to turn it in tomorrow. However, if you forgot to photograph yesterday's assigned monster, but manage to photograph it before visiting the Yearbook Club, you'll be able to turn it in for your camera upgrade and get a new assignment.
- The Yearbook Club Camera can be upgraded 21 times. After maxing it out, you will still keep receiving assignments, and turning them in will give the same message saying you're receiving an upgrade, but the camera will not improve anymore.
- Going to a crafting class twice in a day does take away from the 3 times a day limit.
- You can /pull items using chat commands while inside the crafting class. Unfortunately, you can't go to the mall, buy one, pull it, and then return -- that will count as 2 activities.
- After spending the last "adventure", you can leave school to do something else, and then return for this "adventure". This is mainly useful for saving your Choir Club buff until you need it.
- It is possible to sing the same verse twice in a row, when going to the Choir Club.
History
- Prior to a hidden update on September 30, 2013, the part about the management when returning to the yearbook club without a photograph was not included. The monster was also the same. This was put in to make sure that a monster that was previously available, but is no longer, could be scrapped for a new one that is available.
- This may only apply with monsters that have actually become unavailable.
References
- The first paragraph is a quote from the theme song of Saved by the Bell, which the adventure's title also references.
- The Undead Poets Society choice is a reference to Dead Poets Society. Robin Williams was indeed extremely hairy.
- The Undead Poets Society teacher's second job is a reference to Patch Adams, another Robin Williams film.
- Pretending to sing along by making "confirming and denying" motions is a reference to an Eddie Izzard routine, where she suggests doing this if you forget the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
