Rock scorpion

Rock scorpion
Monster ID	463
Locations	The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert
Hit Points	145
Attack	139
Defense	127
No-Hit	150
Initiative	30
Meat	160-240
Phylum	bug
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, tail
Drops handful of sand, handful of sand, scorpion whip
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a rock scorpion

As you're traipsing through the desert, you see a rock. But it isn't a rock -- it's a rock scorpion, the biggest, baddest, and most muscular of all scorpions. It is known for arching one eyebrow before it attacks, and secretes a natural oil so it's always glistening and shiny. If you're not careful, it'll cut you in half in a very, very unpleasant way.

Hit Message(s):

It pokes you with its wicked stinger. It hurts worse than a sting from a desert rose. Oof! Oof! Ooh!

It impales your <ear> with its venomous tail. Oof! Eek! Argh!

It pinches your <groin> with one vicious claw. It's not even the perfect time of year to get pinched. Ow! Eek! Oof!

It tramples you with all eight legs. Wait, six legs. I think. Oof! Ouch! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

It whips its tail around tightly in a circle, over and over again. The wind starts to change, and soon the wind of change has turned into a hurricane! It sweeps you into the sky, then just as suddenly vanishes. You fall and crack your head open. Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to sting you with its stinger, but you tell it not to stand so close to you.

It tries to impale you with its venomous tail, but you dodge.

It tries to pinch you with its claws, but you remind it that you're not asleep.

It tries to trample you, but can't tell if it has eight legs or six.

Fumble Message:

It whips its tail around in tight little circles, and the wind starts to change. The wind of change whistles around you in an oddly soothing fashion. No one like you is going to be hurt by them. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

You gain 160-240 Meat (average: 200, stdev: 16.73)*

You acquire an item: handful of sand (24.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: handful of sand (14.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: scorpion whip (4.9% chance)*

You gain 34-35 <substat>.

---

Occurs at The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert.

References

• The Rock played the part of the Scorpion King in The Mummy Trilogy, and yes, he arched his eyebrow.
• The description of the scorpion in the first and second sentences is a reference to the song Rock Lobster by the The B-52's, specifically the lyric "And there they saw a rock/It wasn't a rock/It was a rock lobster"
• The "wind of change" in the critical hit and fumble messages refer to the song "Winds of Change" by The Scorpions. The whistling mentioned in the fumble message may refer to Klaus Meine's whistling in the intro of the song. The Scorpions also sing "Rock You Like A Hurricane", which is referenced briefly in the attack messages. The fumble message also contains a reference to the Scorpions song "No One Like You".
• The "sting you with his stinger/don't stand so close to you" message involves the song "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police (who were led by musician Sting).
• "The sting from a desert rose" refers to the song "Desert Rose" by Sting.
• "It can't tell if it has eight legs or six" refers to the same joke/reference as the use text of the ice stein, which refers to a joke from the Jick and Skullhead show, where VEGeteriAN thought the image of the ice-cold six-pack showed 8 beers.
  • It also refers to the fact that the picture has six legs while real scorpions have eight.
• "It's not even the perfect time of year to get pinched" refers to the Barenaked Ladies song "Pinch Me", of which the first line is "It's the perfect time of year".