Returning the MacGuffin (class selection)
You put the Holy MacGuffin back on its little altar plinth thing, adjust it to juuust the right angle for a pleasing display, and brush away a barely-noticeable fleck of dust. Then you stand back and regard it for a while, satisfied with a job well done. MacGuffin recovered, Staff Guardians properly chastised, jackass adventurer crushed -- all in all, it was time well-spent.
You sit down at your craft table and inspect your x-acto blade -- still razor-sharp, which is one of the advantages of living inside a pyramid. Maybe a different city this time, you think, as you open a fresh box of matchsticks.
Perhaps there’s some decent sketches of Porkham in the archives.
Hopefully there’ll be enough time to finish before another jerk adventurer shows up.
| Like a jerk Seal Clubber |
| or a jerk Turtle Tamer |
| or a jerk Pastamancer |
| or a jerk Sauceror |
| or a jerk Disco Bandit |
| or a jerk Accordion Thief |
You, <playername>, wake up in your campsite with terrible nightmares of jackal-headed demons fading -- blessedly -- from your memory. Soon there’s nothing left of the dream but a queasy headache and the vague memory of someone being very angry with you and calling you a jackass. Hopefully, that got sorted out okay.
If you have completed a leaderboard run:
"And you did the whole thing so quickly! The universe is almost undoubtedly as appreciative of your efficiency as I am of your efforts."
 | You acquire an item: Instant Karma |
Occurs after Returning the MacGuffin at the end of an Actually Ed the Undying ascension.
Notes
- After changing classes:
- If your new main stat is Muscle, then your previous Muscle and Mysticality are swapped.
- If your new main stat is Mysticality, then nothing special happens.
- If your new main stat is Moxie, then your Moxie becomes equal to your Mysticality, and your Mysticality remains the same as before. This is presumably a bug.
References
- The superstition of pyramid power asserts that the ancient Egyptian pyramids keep razor blades from dulling, among other miscellaneous effects.
