While wandering through Whitey's Grove, you find yourself inexplicably thrown into a raging torrent of whitewater rapids. Now you understand why they don't call them calmwater slows.
Looking down the river, you see it split into three paths -- one leads into a cave, one into a dense copse of trees, and one towards what looks like a burned down laundromat.
|Steer for the cave|
The rapids deposit you into a dark cave. You wander through it for a while before discovering a ghostly face hovering in the darkness. You inspect it more closely, and find it to be a slightly-too-dark shade of pale. You feel more in tune with the cosmos for having tripped that particular light fandango.
|You gain 21-30 Wizardliness.|
|Steer for the trees|
The rapids deposit you into a grove of trees. You wander around it for a bit, and come across a bizarre contraption half-concealed under a pile of leaves.
Closer examination reveals it to be a still. You wait for a few seconds to see if it turns into something else, but it's still a still. You look around to make sure nobody's watching, and hork some of the moonshine.
|You acquire 3 jars of white lightning|
|Steer for the laundromat|
The rapids deposit you into the ruins of a burned-down laundromat. You pick through the charred rubble until you find something (surprise!) white.
|You acquire an item: white collar|
Occurs at Whitey's Grove.
- The "Steer for the cave" section refers to the Procol Harum song "A Whiter Shade of Pale", which opens with the line "We tripped the light fandango" (which is itself a mixing of the old phrase 'trip the light fantastic', which means to dance, with 'fandango', a Spanish dance).
- The title of this adventure is likely a reference to Dora the Explorer, whose Rapido Rapids (Fast Rapids) game was frequently advertised on many television stations in the US over the summer of 2005.
- The text refers to an episode of The Simpsons in which Ned Flanders quips "Now I know why they call them 'rapids' and not 'slowpids'".
|Whitey's Grove Choice Adventures|
|Don't Fence Me In||The Only Thing About Him is the Way That He Walks||Rapido!|
|Whitewash the fence||Gain 20-30 Strongness||Show him some moves||Gain 20-30 Roguishness||Steer for the cave||Gain 21-30 Magicalness|
|Steal the fence||white picket fence||Show him a good time||3 boxes of wine||Steer for the trees||3 jars of white lightning|
|Jump the fence||piece of wedding cake and white rice (sometimes)||Show him how easy it is to steal all his stuff||mullet wig||Steer for the laundromat||white collar|